Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Grieving and not wanting to live

Misty82
Misty82

I previously wrote about my breakup from my toxic ex.  We broke up 2 weeks ago and Im not doing well at all. I am so incredibly lonely.  I have no friends. All of my friends were his friends and I have no family except my children. He has a huge family and lots of friends to get him through this and I have none.  One of my best friends that was his best friend hasn't talked to me in a while.  Has been on Facebook but ignored my message even though he said he'd always stil be my friend.  So I know his loyalty is with my ex even though he treated me like crap.  My exes family says they support me and Im still a part of the family but I don't think thats really true.  His mom messages from time to time but thats it.  The holidays are coming up and Im spending Thanksgiving alone cause my kids are with my ex husband, not my ex boyfriend.  I'm so utterly alone and today I just wanted to die.  Its really hard for me to make friends.  I'm very introverted and socially awkward.  I just can't imagine a life being alone like this.  Then he messaged me the other day telling me he missed me and that he wants me to know hes sorry how it ended and he still loves and cares for me. I broke up with him cause of his drinking problem and a million different reasons.  He just wasnt very respectful to me.  His message set me off.  Not sure why he did except for him to find comfort from me during all of this. I find it rather selfish of him cause it just caused me lots of pain.  I never message him unless he reached out first.  How do I go on from this alone?  He has a huge family.  I have absolultey no one.  Im so alone.

Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
hugs my friend, Now is the time to look after yourself. You just started on this journey, but with time you will be fine, Take as much "me" time as you need I was in the same situation. No friends, no family close by either. I was all by myself. My kids were young adults One day at a time, sometimes it is one hour at a time. Cry all you want. As for that ex, block him. Do not follow him on any social network. Get a therapist if you do not have one. But most of all be gentle with yourself. Post all you want, we are here to help.
Misty82
Misty82
I do have a therapist but it doesn't feel enough. I feel like my whole life was my ex and it was. He took more of my time than my kids having to deal with his drinking and such. I feel like his friends and family were mine but I know now thats not the case. His mom is nice to me but I know she will eventually fade away. I really don't even want to live anymore. I have no family, no friends, no job, no anything. Ive been reaching out to some people but I feel like they get tired of dealing with me nd are fake. I have plenty of time to think about things. Then he cones along and texts me. I just cant seem to block him yet. I still have hope he will cone back but I know it will never happen and he isn't good for me. I hurt so bad tjat all I could think about is not living. I have ky kids but its even hard to care for them right now. I feel so foolish and emarrassed reaching out yo his friends and family but they are all I got.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Break ups are so hard, and they feel awful and sad and it's all you can think about... for right now. But it won't always be like this. Yes, you do have family... you have your kids. Are your kids young (live with you)? Maybe take them out for some ice cream, spend some time with them. Give them your attention and love. They have probably missed your full attention these past few years! :)

Call your therapist and ask for some extra sessions.

You're not alone. You are going to be okay.
Misty82
Misty82
My kids live with me but are with their dad this weekend so I'm all alone. I think thats why its so hard on me today. I also feel I list his family as well. Ive always been in a relationship since I was 19. 37 now. Had a marriage f0r 13 tears then this past relationship for 5. I hate being alone. I keep thinking hes doing just great and I'm sitting here pathetic and sad. I reached out to his mom today cause she said I could but she hasnt responded yet. I feel like a fool. He has all of the support and I don't. I love my kids but it isnt the same as a partner or a friend.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
Misty

Don't let someone else define you. Breakups are tough at times but, from what you have stated, being bad to drink and showing disrespect to you is not something that is good for any relationship. Hang in there, things will get better. It may take time to make new friends but, it can be done and you can start a new future.
amh293
amh293
I am feeling the same emotions right now as my boyfriend of 3 years walked away from our relationship about 4 weeks ago. I have had suicidal thoughts almost daily, am struggling to get out of bed. If you want to chat, please feel free to message me. I am not sure if this website has a private message feature. Hugs!!
Misty82
Misty82
amh293 I'm sorry you are going through this as well. Its just so awful! I had to break up with mine cause his drinking got out of control and he was doing a lot of disrespectful things and it was affecting my kids as well. I understand avout the suicidal thoughts cause thats where my head was. Kept thinking of him moving on woth someone else and being a better person for them. I spent 5 years of my life caring for him and it would break my heart to see him love someone else and be the person I knew he could be. I feel for you and totally unserstand. Heartbreak is the worst pain ever. This is our 3rd breakup and probably the last.
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
Stay focused on healing and bettering yourself.
This will take time, and while you might feel alone with technology you are never truly alone. You can reach out and we will gladly help and listen.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
Hello Misty. Hugs. Can I offer you something different for your consideration? What you have right now might otherwise be called "Opportunity." Your ex has made his decisions, and removed himself from the equation. Fine. Now you have the opportunity to grow and expand in any number of different ways. What direction do YOU want to take? Everything new in your life will happen because YOU want it to!

If you want to make new friends, you'll need to go where good people are.
What can you do right now to point yourself in a different direction? Can you volunteer at an animal shelter or homeless shelter? Can you go for a long walk in the woods? Can you take an exercise class? Can you start writing a novel? Can you take a trip? (Anywhere. It doesn't have to be extravagant.). Can you take an online class?

Best of luck to you. And, as others have said, reach out here on this site, and others will gladly help and listen.
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