Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was Married for 8 years to my soon to be ex husband, I thoughy We were happy with the usual issues but around September things began to change with him. By December he told me that he was unhappy but he didn't know why that it wasn't my fault because I was The perfect wife and mother to our 2 kids. I did Everything in the relationship and always put myself on the back burner. Imagine a 50's style marriage but his only responsibilities were mowing the grass and going to work. Everything and I mean Everything else fell solely on me on top of my full time job. Back to him telling me he was unhappy in December.. he tried to leave before Christmas and I begged Him to stay and work things out for the sake of the kids and he agreed to try. His version of trying was making my life a living hell and getting mad every time I was Upset because he acted like he couldn't stand me. Then in late January he said he was done and leaving for good and he did. A couple of days after he left I looked At phone records and it all started to make sense, he was cheating. I called Him and gave him the chance to come clean, I was Told "I dont Owe you a damn thing" when I told Him he owed me the truth at least, he followed that up with the words that I think Will forever scar me "I told You if I got Bored with you I would End the marriage" it has been hell for me since January, I have taken everything so personally and have blamed myself for the his cheating for most of this time cause myself to lose 67 pounds in the course of this very short time frame. I am Starting to come out of the fog but I never imagined the amount of utter pain and misery the once love of your life could cause you and be so unapologetic in the process. Sorry for the novel just needed to purge all of this in some way. Trying to find a healthy way to cope.
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
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My best friend ruined my day with her immature, bitchy self. If she doesn't get her way, she has a tizzy fit. I told her weeks ago that I couildn't go to yard sales with her on 9/12 because i have a hair appointment. She wasn't happy. I also told her that I don't have any money to go to yard sales. She tried to talk me into going to more yard sales by saying that if I don't go, there...
As I started reading your post, I knew he was cheating. That is why his mood changed, and why he suddenly wanted to leave his family.
Do not blame yourself for ANY of this. Get mad, not sad. How dare he do this to you, and to his kids!
Get yourself to a divorce attorney. Get at least a consultation. You need to protect yourself financially, and for your kids. Get a therapist. You are going through a trauma, because of him, and you need to talk to a professional who can help you make a plan to go forward with your life. And you WILL go forward with your life. You WILL be okay.
Things are rough right now, but they will get better. You are going to have to get up and brush yourself off, and start taking actions to protect your finances and to protect your kids. Call a divorce attorney. Get a therapist. Tell your family, his family, your friends, what is going on. Don't make this so easy for him to just up and do what he wants and destroy your family. Let everyone know what is going on and what he is doing.
You are going to be okay! You are stronger than you think. Take action!
Do you have a divorce attorney? They can help you with visitation. 99.9% of the time, the mother has the say on how the visitation will go. He can hope and threaten for joint custody all he wants, but it is not up to him. Up to a judge.
Do you have support people around you? Friends, family, church.... someone to talk to? Just to chat or go do things with. You need some *me* time and to do things you like to do.
You're going to be okay! This won't go on forever.