Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's more than a simple story of him leaving me, but I can't seem to get him out my head. I think about him constantly. I am suffering with feelings of loss. I had a really good plan going to accept and move on, but my therapist said it was making me supress my pain instead of feeling it. So I quit my plan of meditation and personal development activities to feel the pain. But instead I feel like I fell into a slump. I'm stuck. I have been texting him but he doesn't reply - which hurts so much. Am I not worth a response? I have been considering a rebound to simply distract me but I feel so broken up I can't afford to rebound on someone who will use me and hurt me even more. I don't know what to do. I'm getting depressed
Fast forward...I have now been married over 5 years to my current husband who shows me a level of commitment and love I never felt from the exass. His loss.
Don't give up on your meditation and personal development. They will help you through the process, but when you do get deprssed, feel it...don't fight it. It's all part of the grieving process.
YOU determine your worth. You're giving him and his response or lack thereof the power to determine your worth.
Yes it sucks. All the feelings and disappointment suck.
No matter what the individual circumstances of the breakups/divorces here are, we all go through emotional upheaval and adjustment when our circumstances change.
First things first. Let him go and stop trying to contact him. He's moved on. Focus on yourself. And trust me, filling the void with someone else isn't the answer. It won't work. And yes you can get hurt, and so can someone else. Don't use another person.
I have been journaling and reaching out to my friends for support.
I also have been trying to make positive changes such as going for a short walk each day. I have joined up with a woman's club. It's been 6 months now. I went on my first date yesterday. It went well.
I agree we need to allow ourselves time to grieve but we also need to take care of ourselves & start to move on.
I understand what you mean when you say you're obsessing over him. I can never make my mind turn off—and not just about others, my mind spins about pretty much everything. I've learned some tricks of self talk over the years for managing my anxiety and flood of thoughts. When it comes to the codependency in me, that longing for another to make me feel worthy, I have found several online resources to be useful. I read and reread these often. Here's one of my favorites: https://www.howtoforgivepeople.com/how-to-overcome-emotional-dependency
What helps me is to really dig deep and see how I can grow from the pain. I try to learn all there is about myself and why I keep choosing these men who don't appreciate or respect my heart. I haven't broken my cycle yet—but, I'm trying. And, at least for now, my mind is preoccupied with me—not him.