Is there anyone who can look after your dogs for you temporarily?

ClearDay1 everything is ok. Please just relax. Are you currently being treated for panic attacks?

No. They're just going to give me a benzodiazapine, and I'm afraid to get addicted.

My attacks are brutal. I've been trying to heal holistically and by doing the right thing.

I'm human. I can't take the hurt and abandonment anymore.

I've tried to be strong for myself

I'm broken. It's okay. I just need to know I'm not alone.

Thank you. I have prayed and I'm tired of begging, even God, for relief

I just can't suffer anymore.

what triggered the panic attacks? *bear hug* your not alone in this, we've all had those horrific days where the anxiety just pounces on you and crushes your lungs. Your gonna be ok, It's all gonna be ok I promise.

Okay...FIRST: I understand. More than you know. I eat anxiety too, not as bad as some, but bad enough.

SECOND: Know it's real. This isn't something that's "just in your head". It's real and it's biologically driven.

Benzos: Yes, very easy to get addicted, but they're also extremely safe, almost impossible to overdose on (it's got to be combined with something else), and if you take a 3 day in a row holiday every week...you're chance of needing to go up in dose is very small. So if you're controlled about it, you can take them Mon-Thur (and then off for the weekend) or vice versa. (I know this from talking to people who have taken them for sleep.)

In addition: If the anxiety is really bad, you might ask your doctor to try a low dose beta blocker (works by slowing hearts response to stress. The longer acting ones will only slightly lower your heart rate, but will slow your heart from speeding up too fast. Works for some people.

Last: There are several tricks to reducing anxiety....all of which work on the mind-body interaction (because if your body is in panic, your heart racing...your mind will respond with anxiety). Five deep breaths, candles, slow calm music, yoga, basically whatever calms you (and I get that you wouldn't be bringing this up if you could just calm yourself....like I said...I deal with this myself to a small degree.)

Beyond Last: Recondition (de-condition?) yourself. Get outside several times a day. Go at midnight if you have to. If you're okay going out...take a longer route, every couple days. Give yourself days where you'll push yourself (even through a panic attack) and days where you won't. REWARD yourself for each...yes each. Reward yourself for failure, success, thinking about it. (Get tic-tacs for a reward if you have to). Point is, try to get yourself into a cycle that no matter WHAT you do...you'll be making yourself feel better. And when you feel better, you'll be stronger for dealing with this.

Hugs, Patti

*TIGHT HUG* Imagine that this is being said to you in a very low calm voice by someone standing right by your ear... Mama, take a deep breath... Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Exhale... Focus...
Think about what you are panicking about and understand that our brains do play tricks on us, causing us to sometimes overreact. Understand that there is nothing you can do to change your circumstances so don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Just be honest and realistic with yourself and ask yourself, what do I want? I know that your immediate answer will be to get rid of these horrible feelings. I hear you. But we have been told repeatedly that it's going to get better. As hard as that may be to grasp, we have to find a way to make this true. But you are not alone. This may be a virtual space but there are people here who can relate with you. I am here! *HUGSSS*

Sending you a hug

Clearday1, you may be isolated but you're not alone. Things will get better because you want them to and you'll do what's needed to better your life. You're one of the most insightful posters on DS that I've come across, and I have no doubt you'll come out the other side of this, into the sunshine.

I don't know much about extreme anxiety or panic attacks, but I do know that sometimes when I get "squirrel brain" where I can't even think straight, I go and do something mindless. Like spend an hour obsessively cleaning something (and I hate to clean), or going outside, sometimes in extreme weather - just to feel alive. Hang in there.

ClearDay1 how are you doing now?

I totally understand not wanting to take drugs. I am like that too. I don't even like to take ibuprofen. You didn't mention if you are seeing a therapist. Are you? If not, have you considered it?

I just remembered about an app I read about called Talkspace. From what I read (and this was like a year ago), you pay $25 per week and you can talk to or text a licensed therapist all you want during that week, any time during the day or night. You don't sign any contracts. You just pay as you go. I put a link to it so you can read more about it.

https://www.talkspace.com/

I just looked at the Talkspace website. I see it's $32/week now and billed monthly, but consider that my co-pay for my therapist is $20 a week and I only get to talk to her for one hour so $32 for a week of unlimited talking seems like a pretty good deal to me.

We are listening ❤️. I don't know how to handle panic attacks but maybe some friends or family can take the dogs for a bit if you need medical help??

Clear, I know how you feel...you are ok....this will pass. It's dreadful, but it is temporary. But you are ok.

I would think twice about the meds unless addiction has been an issue. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Nothing wrong with it if it helps. I'm sorry you are in such a bad place right now. You are ok...just feeling raw hard emotions to their core.