Hello everyone. This is my first time on this forum! My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me with another girl. I feel like I'm going to die. I haven't had an appetite in days. Have no interest to do things. I have not slept well at all. I have a constant migraine. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first love, my best friend, my everything. We did everything together. There were a lot of red flags towards the end of Febuary. We were in a LDR and we attend the same college. He was 21 I am 20. I know we are young but we talked about having a future. 

 Although we had our ups and downs and he was verbally abusive to me or didn't spend as much time with me or give me attention he still cared and did a lot for me. He said he loved me and I believed him. He was still there for me in the good and bad times. I had been trying to be his friend and break up with him since August. But he manipulated me and I spent 7 more months with him. 

Anyways. He was coming to my hometown to come to college. He went back home for a week sometime in Febuary and he lied to me about coming back. We didn't even get to spend Valentine's Day together. He didn't message me for hours and hours leading into the next day. I thought nothing of it. He said that he had to take his mom to a doctors appointment  somewhere in Miami and he was just busy all day. And that his grandpa passed away so his family was grieving. Although his grandpa passed away a while ago. Then he said his brother had a panic attack so he was caring for him.  He lied about every little thing. Such as when he came back, his location, didn't message me, didn't send me pictures of himself. His conversations with me were very dry. And he would jokingly say I'm with another girl (which was true). 

I don't know how long this has been going on for. How long he's been cheating behind my back. He was overprotective of his phone hiding stuff. One time I saw a hair in his car and he said it was mine but it wasn't. He wouldn't tell me the truth about where he was or what he was doing. He would always say I'm obsessive and psychotic. He know I would come back to him and I did, but not anymore. 

Then on Saturday he posted a picture of him and a girl on Snapchat. He deleted it immediately.  I'm glad I saw it all of a sudden. I confronted him about it and at first he said that I was making stuff up for attention and playing the victim part. He kept manipulating me thinking I didn't see the image when I did.Then eventually he admitted that he was hanging out with his "old high school friend" somewhere near his house. But I caught him because before he was making plans with me saying to hang out on Tuesday. 

I asked for his location and he didn't give it to me. I asked previously before and he lied about his whereabouts. I know he was hiding stuff from me. But he was doing a bad job at it. At first I didn't realize but after I did. So then I told him I was going to break up with him because he was lying and cheating on me. He continued to manipulate me and I fell for his traps. He would say stuff like "shes nothing compared to you" "you're beautiful" "I only want you" "I love you" " I miss you"  "you were my first love" "you're the only girl I want "

Eventually I realized going back to him wasn't worth it. I confronted him and I told him it's over and that I want to end it for good. He kept saying I love you. I didn't believe him. No matter the memories we made and the love that I had for him I decided I have to let him go. I am just in shock and so hurt right now. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. I haven't been sleeping well, I haven't been eating at all. I've been distracted from pursuing my education. I cannot believe he did this to me. I don't know what I did wrong. I was foolish for believing he loved me and wanted to be with me. I was foolish for believing everything he said to me. In a way I'm glad I found out on my own. But I'm just wish he was honest with me and let me know that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I wanted to know the truth. But I put the pieces together and found out the truth on my own and that's what really hurts. I know that he was just a manipulative and abusive person as well as a liar. 
 

Knowing all those things, how can I get over him? It still hurtsme to think that someone can do that to me. When I all did was care for him and love him. I spent so much time talking to him being there for him. But he betrayed my trust and my love for him. How do I move on for good and bury him and our memories and my love for him in the past? How do I get over this hurt and these emotions I'm feeling. I don't wish this upon anyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this and giving me advice. I hope someone can support me through this time.