I got married last January, separated in April. I'm so distraught over this...basically my soon to be ex MIL has an undiagnosed mental illness. Trust me, I've discussed her history and many of her behaviors to my own counselor and she agrees that there is definitely something not right. Anyway, MIL had said some things I took strong offense to and my husband confronted her. Well, she got him to turn on me and he started giving me books on MIL/DIL relationships. Books that MIL had found recommended on grandparents.com (hate that website, it's for a bunch of entitled you know whats...). The books said that there was no such thing as a nuclear family, etc.

We fought a lot about this and the fact that I felt like he had betrayed me. It's been a long separation and I had started the divorce process when my husband decided he wanted to talk. He said he realized he'd made many mistakes (this is his second marriage, his first marriage ended after only a year as well, due to MIL and other family members telling my husband that it was either her or them...ugh...yeah I know, BIG red flag.). So we got together. I had given him articles on the importance of "leaving and cleaving" to your spouse and he seemed like he was really getting it. We were talking about going back to counseling (had tried once, but he quit after a few sessions) and even maybe going on dates.

On Thanksgiving, I tried calling him. He didn't answer so I just sent him a text saying that I loved him and that I was really missing him. He didn't respond until the next day, only saying that "the day was different, that's for sure." Broke my heart.

Then yesterday he sends me a text, asking if we could talk later (he's a cop and was on duty). I told him that would be fine and then he says he's all confused and doesn't know what he wants anymore. He tells me his mom needs to be an influence in his kids' lives and he's "torn" because I won't allow that. And that's true. I think that if you're rude and disrespectful to your DIL you shouldn't get to have any "influence" on your grandkids. I'd already told him I was fine with supervised visits, but that no, she wouldn't be taking our kids for frequent sleepovers, and we wouldn't be staying at their vacation homes for weekends at a time.

I'm pretty sure that on Thanksgiving, MIL laid into him about her "needs" (she's famous for going around saying "I take (her favorite grandson) anytime I want because I have needs!") and so I think that is where all of this is coming from. I've decided to go ahead with the divorce and I'm going to pick up my things the weekend before Christmas (can't get help until then).

Really feeling devastated. Thank you for reading.