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Falling out of love

Rman
Rman
I don't understand how someone can fall out of love with another person. I mean, when two people commit to the lifelong bond of marriage, isn't that supposed to mean that they are committing to loving the person for life?
deleted_user
deleted_user
It helps to reread before you post....I got the, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" I meant to say.
Rman
Rman
lol...friday.

My wife told me she doesn't feel that attraction anymore. Talk about a blow to the self-esteem. She used to say I was handsome and sexy and a manly stud dude, super hero with a pee-pee and jeans.
bigguy3
bigguy3
I've heard the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line before. It is very painful to hear. I guess some people just are not built to maintain a long term relationship. Whether it is an emotional thing, an intellectual thing, a sexual thing, or something else entirely, it seems like some people can't remain happy in a relationship for more than a few years at most. Some much shorter than that. What I believe it boils down to is a fear of intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy. Opening youself up completely to someone else and risking being hurt. There are not a lot of people out there that are truly capable of doing that.

But I agree with Rman that marriage is a commitment and when you say "I do", you are committing to stay with that person. You need to spend the necessary time investing in the relationship before you say "I do" to make sure that the two of you want the same things in the relationship and are willing to work together to achieve those goals. If you can't find that common ground, then being "in love" will not be enough and it will be an uphill battle to have a successful relationship with that person. Just my opinion.
Misred
Misred
why can't I meet the kind of guys in real life that are here on DS. Ones that know that a marriage has ebb and flow. This just sucks the big chorizo