And 1 child vs 2 or 3. The amount very seldom goes up by multiples. So if he's paying say 1300 for one child. It would likely only be 1600 for 2.

And the main reason that it's so high is because it's really really expensive to raise a child in CT.

Wind I know how you feel. It is an endless circle and they say it is what is best for the child. But because paying cs the guy in some cases is in poverty. With my cs, ins, taxes it takes 43% of my pay. In NJ it goes up every 2 years in 08 it went up even though I made less. The more I make the more they take out.

There's just no way for people to live the same lifestyle after divorce as they did before.

Split the household, and most of them will be living in poverty.

Throw in even a few thousand in lawyer's fees....and it pushes it even deeper. And kids pay the worst.

And then there are the increased costs of traveling back and forth with the kids, time lost from not being able to work during that time, more daycare expenses.....meals on the go....

Heck I pack everything and never eat out, but I have to buy food that's fast to make at home. It all stinks, but I do what I have to do....

I

I'm assuming domestic relations determined the amount of support you have to pay.
In Pennsylvania it is based on the incomes of the 2 people involved, the number of children, and custody percentage. In my case, my ex wife has full custody. If there is daycare involved, that can either be figured in or worked out privately by the respective parties (and based on the price of daycare, we all know that can jack up the amount of support tremendously). Also the custodial parent is responsible for the first $250.00 of any unreimbursed medical expenses after which they are split between the parties per PA law. I make nowhere near as much as you but I pay proportionately a similar amount. As Patti pointed out, too I think the amount of support determined varies by state.

You make about 70k, a year, which should balance out to taking home about what, 45k a year after taxes and pre-paid benefits? Which is what, about $3,750 a month take home? Maybe a little less?

CS plus mortgage =$2,900 a month.

That would leave you $850 a month to pay rent, car payment, insurance, utilities, buy gas, and oh, FOOD.

A-Get a lawyer
B-Why are you paying the mortgage if you don't live there? You say she wanted the divorce, so, tell her to get a job and pay the house herself.
C-If the state says you pay 1300, pay 1300.

D-There is a big difference between being civil, and being stupid.

Man oh man does this subject strike a nerve.

I pay $409 per week to someone who has a $million dollar trust fund and doesn't work. Yup. You heard that right. I had signed a prenup, so the trust fund "is not a factor." After 16 years and two kids, still not a factor. Did I mention she doesn't work and plays tennis a lot?

I also should mention that I live in Massachusetts - probably the most pro-mother/wife state in the Union. It is what it is, dude. Unless you want to be a deadbeat dad, become a fugitive, rob a bank, live on the lam, move to Mexico (or Canada - I'm eying Vancouver), you have to man up and pay the "guideline." Not sure where you live, but in MA, the guideline says to the husbands, "bend over and we'll drive you HOME!"

So I'm paying, and barely surviving. I also had to give her half my retirement, which I worked for. She has to give me half the equity in the house (paid for by her trust, which she didn't work for), and it's taken 2 years and $17,000 of lawyer bills, and she STILL HAS NOT PAID ME. Because she doesn't think it's "fair." But I'm going to get that equity; it's just taking time.

I don't have an issue paying child support - it's a moral obligation. It is the right thing to do for my 2 kids. But the system is not fair. This is almost half my income I'm giving away. The "good life" is a thing of the past for me. I have to look at enjoying life beyond what money can buy. It's a new reality.

I used to think I had the worst, most unfair, most "I got REAMED" divorce in the world. Then I realized that I just got the AVERAGE worst, most unfair, most "I got reamed" divorce in the world...

Your mortgage payment will stop at some point, it sounds like. For now, I'd make her pay half of that.

Yeah, and you guys need to get that house sold Now. It will bankrupt the both of you fast if you don't. Or she can do what Soon said and get a job.....which she'll most likely have to do anyway.

Hard decisions have to be made fast. Remember that she's had time to think about this though. Don't let her give you some big line about how hard it will be to get the child back into regular school. This was her choice. (And yeah, I'd feel differently if it was you pushing this and she needed some time to adjust. Although that still wouldn't change the financial situation.)

In my case I dodged a serious bullet in the subject of homeownership. We were still in the market for buying a new home when she decided to whore herself out.

John - I can't believe that the trust fund is not a factor in support (in California, both community and separate property is relevant) - have you checked this out? Certainly her ability to earn is/should be a factor.

While you may have no community property claim on the trust fund, in California, we would impute income to it and stick it on her side for purposes of calculating child and spousal support.

Lynne

They "imputed" $60K in income to her. Supposedly. And the guideline formula still spat out the figure I have to pay at $409 per week. Nice huh?

and I nabbed 40! lol

G,
That is a cost-of-living increase in NJ. It is not relative to what you make. It is relative to the base Order. If you make less, you need to file for a modification.

WInd, did they impute a salary on your STBX? In other words, did they calculate support based on what she should be making or did they only consider your salary? There are alot of variables i.e. how long she was out of the work force, when she can get back into the work force...

It does seem high to me, and it sounds like the support burden is all on you.

My ex makes much more than you and he pays 1,298.00 per month. They took his net earnings instead of gross. He was livid because he also has to pay an additional 100.00 per month for health insurance. I don't press for the additional 100.00 and my ex wanted me to agree to only let him pay 400.00 per month or else he would resent his child. I save all the CS money into a savings account for our son. It is for his future.

John, I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. My fiancee's first wife lives in MA also, and he also got screwed. He was making $40K a year in MA, then he moved to TX to be with me. They also imputed his income, so he owes $200 a week, plus ALL the kid's medical expenses. We can't provide insurance for his daughter because of the lovely HMOs from TX are worthless in Boston, so ex was supposed to go on MassHealth. (She refuses to work as well.) Well, she "doesn't want" to go on MassHealth, and in addition takes the daughter to the ER at least once every other month for things as minor as a welt from an allergic reaction. So we literally can't ever get ahead because she is taking all of his income some months.

The kicker? My fiancee is working full time in what is considered to be a good job here in small city West Texas - $400 a week salary, gross. So he also gives her over half his net income, not even counting the health care bills.

She also won't let him even talk to her on the phone. Yes, we are getting a lawyer. But the lawyer isn't all that hopeful - it is Massachusetts after all.

On the flip side, here in Texas I have two kids, my ex made $32k a year and I only got $520 a month in child support. (He also paid $140 a month for their insurance.) Then he lost his job and quit paying. I can't do anything about it. That $520 a month doesn't even cover their daycare even when he did pay it. Ridiculous.

State guidelines can very, very different. There is no way to win.

I am getting laid off on Friday.This is how it goes:

Pay 560 a week
CS 138 week
Taxes 100 a week
Ins 30 a week

after Friday
Unemployment 320 week
Ins 39 a week
CS 138 a week

to live on 143 a week.