I'm sorry for your struggles.

all I can say right now is hugs.

Thank you both!

So she divorced you out of the blue? How awful. Where the any warning signs?

Sorry for the sudden shock. What I am learning from most who have gone through it is that it may be sudden for those left behind but the leaver process and grieve longer than they let on. Please take your time grieving. I am having a hard time finding closure and I am trying to recognize it can only come within.

@Cora_Belle she said, I should have seen it coming, and I honestly I didn't. I have this crazy idea that "we're married so we'll work through anything." Don't get me wrong, I know we have problems. I also know it's fixable. I feel like she has a scoreboard. Everything that happened in the past is there even its resolve or we're making progress on our issue.

@Painfuldivorce when I'm on my lowest, I go to pintrest and start reading moving on quotes or go start texting crisis hotline when I'm scared of myself. I also started playing this mundane game called agar.lo. it's stupid game, but enough to get me through few minutes depression. Let me know if you have any tips as well. Everytime I see an email, text msgs, or our pictures, I'm back to my lowest point.

I'm in a similarly sinking ship. Im months in, divorce is going tobbe contested, 2 kids in the mix and its very difficult to keep it together. Every day is a battle not only with her but with myself. Plus i have to be at atrong as i can for my guys. Its ridiculous, the whole situation. I'm sure just like me you meant your vows when you got married and its terribly painful when you realize the other person was full of shit.

@FamilyGuy yes, I meant every words I said in my vows. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, but I love her more than enough that I did everything I can to make reconsider her decision even begging, but all she ever wanted was her freedom.

Hang in there for the sake of your 2 kids. I know there are times when you're angry and times when you just want these pain to go away. With kids around, you can't even deal with any of those emotions to help minimize the impact to them. I hope you find a way to deal with in healthy way. If you're in your hot mode, you can contact the crisis hotline. They help me diffuse my negative emotions and thoughts. let me know if you're interested.

Sorry. God bless you.

Thanks, bees2000.

My divorce was similar, in how fast it was.. I found him cheating in Aug, we filed Sept, by the middle of October it was final - and I had all this emotional processing still yet to do!

But here I am.. 2 years later, and looking back, I'm so so very grateful for the speed and finality of it all. I loved my husband, and I was shellshocked at how quickly our marriage ended too, we'd been together 14 years. But here's what I took away - Its over, and now you can focus on YOU.. and moving forward with this gift of a new start. I've been on DS for over 2 years also, as its a great please to vent, and share, and hear from others going through similar ordeals. I've seen people on here struggling in courtrooms, months and MONTHS of fighting with their spouses praying for that final date - you and I were truly blessed in how quickly we were no longer legally bound to this horrible person who was NOT looking out for our best interest afterall.

another bonus - was at least for me - was about a month after our divorce was final, he begged me to come back.. 'didn't realize how much you did around here..' - yeah.. when things fly so quickly, and our exspouses are on their 'cloud nine' of what they THINK they want.. when reality comes crashing down - we're gone, and we're NOT coming back.

Be sure to count your blessings often.. even just the little things.. over time it really helps. You didn't have to fight with her over what movie to watch with dinner tonight. You didn't have to argue your case when you work buddies invited you out to watch the game. etc..

Divorce is devistating - in every scenario. It takes time.. and work to heal. Just know you're not alone, and now that things are finalized - you can officially start your new chapter, best wishes

Hey, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum where I envy those with a quickie divorce. I'm now in month 11, 36K in, and it's not because it's a complicated divorce, it's because he's intentionally dragging his feet. I realize those with a quickie might have wanted more time to process, while still married. I thought I'd have a quickie, but no. We get what we get, then have to deal with it the best way we can. It just sucks, either way. I agree with the advice to count your blessings, the little ones especially. It helps you train your mind to look for the positives in your life. Good luck.

I can feel your pain. I am also going thru the same situation. I love my husband, but the feeling his not mutual on his part.
I hope you can find happiness and smile again one day.

I understand your feelings so much. While I wasnt married, I was in a long term relationship recently and my boyfriend decided to break up with me as well. I told him, we werent perfect but I thought we could work things out but he did not want to. I hope you the best.