I dont know....maybe "take your so called courtesy and shove it" would suffice". The only courtesy divorce provides is getting rid of someone who is making you miserable (you have been miserable I take it) There is nothing really courteous about the rest of it lol...hugs and take care.

I'm sorry Tailspin. It hurts even when you know it's coming. I commend you for making it through your meeting. I could barely function when I was served with the first pleading. While Charliegirl's suggested response is tempting, I don't think you should say anything. You will acknowledge the filing of the Complaint by serving her with an Answer. You've expressed an interest in maintaining a relationship with your stepdaughters. If you think she's the vindictive type then you might respond with a simple "thank you for letting me know" so she can't accuse you of being rude to her.

I am sorry for your situation. I am very acquainted with what you have described. Eventually you will get to the place where you accept life as it is. It has been six years for me since my wife and I separated and divorced. I am still alone and I still have moments of deep grief over it, but the flood of un-ending grief and pain has come to an end. The most important thing is to find a solid foundation upon which you want to build your life no matter what comes. For me, that has meant a renewed and vital relationship with God. I came to terms with the fact that my total disregard for His will and His word is what destroyed my marriage. I don't want it to destroy the rest of my life as well.

The text that she sent you can (and in my opinion - should) be looked at as an act of care and love (at some level). I want to assure you that receiving that paper-work unannounced and with no preparation for it would be crushing. My wife told me I was being served the evening before I did, but when I actually received those papers and read through them, I was a complete and total wreck. Where are you going to find support? Business is just that, business and it doesn't guarantee anything. Healing and coping is hard work and it doesn't come about by accident. Do you have a church you attend? Many churches have active men's groups that could be very helpful to you. Attending a Divorce Recovery group was absolutely vital in my recovery. I highly suggest finding one.

There is a book I recommend titled "Get out of that Pit" by Beth Moore (a Christian author) that also helped me immensely. If you are interested in speaking with a counselor by phone for free I can share some information as well. In the mean-time, understand that you have to take this one day at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

GoBlueInCo

My suggestions are for humor purposes only lol

I'm with the above posts. Please hang in there. You are really doing well, all things considered. Gentle hugs.

The fact you didn't respond is great, you're leagues above some of us. It's very difficult and hard. I've had my kids for 5 months and now 3 consecutively, every day it's just myself and them. Even that is tough. Empty, I could see how that would be difficult.

Hang in there man.

So, this is the first weekend since she moved out where I have absolutely no plans. Perhaps a good time to just be alone and reflect and think about next steps. I'm actually planning on putting our home up for sale.

Being alone and reflecting sounds like a good idea. Also consider just getting out a little bit for a change of scenery. Go on a hike/walk in the woods, or just go for a drive. Turn off GPS and try to get lost :). It can be fun. If you are near a river, lake, or ocean bring a book along, find a nice spot (even if you just sit in your car), and do some reading. Listen to music. Do some reflecting but don't spend the WHOLE weekend dwelling on things.

Take care.

putting the house up for sale may be a good idea. You can find a place that is your own that isn't tarnished by memories of her.

Quality time yourself can be great so long as you don't dwell on the negative. Maybe you and your dog can hit the park if the weather is nice.

Getting another place without the memories sounds like a good idea. I don't know if you purchased it before after the marriage. If it isn't a marital asset make sure you speak to your lawyer about keeping the proceeds separate if the sale goes through before the divorce case is settled.

Going home to the dark lonely house is the hard part for me too

I'm guessing she texted you that note probably because she felt you ought to know. I think it was a piece of information that you probably should be told about.

Other than that, move forward with your heatlthy lifestyle you created and if you keep doing what your doing, I think you won't come home to an empty house anymore if that is what you don't want.

Keep up the good work and good luck.