I would just work on yourself, see a therapist if you
Feel that would be helpful. The better you feel about
Yourself the healthier person you will attract in real
Time. I am not in any rush to date again i need to heal
first. HUGS

Online isn't any easier then trying to date offline, it may even be harder because you never know who is behind the screen or how many people they are interacting with.

I am not feeling hopeless, I just got exhausted with it all. I am sure, when we are to meet someone, we all do.

In my experience..long distance relationships hurt just as bad as daily face to face relationships. Actually..mine hurt even worse because he was the first man I've ever been in love with.
We met on an online game we played. Became friends then more. We Skyped..talked and texted for 3 years.
We were both saving so I could move..(he has children..I don't and all the family I was close to have died.)
Needless to say...all those hopes and plans died with that relationship and now the only thing that remains is a broken heart.
Don't let anyone discount your relationship or ur hurting because it was long distance or online. I had someone here do that..and if I wasn't still in shock and disbelief that my relationship was over I would have handled it MUCH differently.
As for the future...I'm so DONE with anything other than a face to face relationship. Needs to b in the same city..or relatively close.
As far as finding love again..I've heard it said that if u can love once...u can love again. I believe it.
Chin up buttercup. Give urself time to heal.

I know how much it hurts. Im not sure why or how someone could lead someone on like that .... they have to know how much emotional pain it can cause. I had an online relationship with someone i met in a game.... the relationship went on for over 6 years long distance. When it ended he just gradually slipped away.... still to this day i think about him every now and then (its been over a year now) but we shared everything and he was always the one i could share anything with, i think thats what makes it so hard when they end it.
I know love is worth it..... i know someday someone will cross my path again but in the mean time its sorta hard not to have that kind of connection with someone :( Stay strong and know that someday you will find the one and it will be even better than before.

I believe MTGrl is referring to me.

While I'm sure it hurts, what I said was it's foolish to allow oneself to become invested in what is essentially a fantasy relationship when so far away for the very reasons you are both here.

It is too easy to be lied to, used, and CATFISHED by the person on the other end.

People lie. They do in real life, to people they have lived with and have children with for 20 years.

Online has now expanded the playing field for everyone, and for many that's all they do...play.

And the lonely vulnerable people get hurt most of all, because the sad fact is for every one genuine, sincere person there are thousands who lack sincerity or integrity.

It's difficult in real life to find and maintain a genuine relationship.

Thats the very reason certain people use online venues. Its much easier to use, lie to and dump someone if you're an individual of low character.

I stand by my opinion.

Original poster, good decision on joining a place to connect with people locally.

No one writes back because they would have to actually meet up, which is intimidating for some.

Personally everyone isn't for me and I'm not for everyone. Someone special will come along in the right time for me if it's supposed to be for me, or not, but it will not be easy for someone to win my trust or my heart. And pretty words over a computer screen sure aren't going to cut the mustard.

I'm sorry you were hurt, but as I say to everyone here who's thinking of dating, protect your heart. There are some dishonest, confused or just plain bad people out there.

Thanks everyone for posting. With her and I it wasn't like catfish that I even know what that really is anyway. We dos FaceTime several times a day. And even at night kept our phones by the bed. Other then text and send stuff through the mail it seemed pretty legit. Issue was I found out she was still talking to more from the site we met at and her ex reaches out to her which she claimed she wasn't gonna respond which she did. Anyhow for the four months we talked I never tried to meet or date anyone else. I'm not totally sold on ppl that are in the same area either because I had a bad situation a while ago. Love knows no distance and I was willing to make the move. Just seems like ppl these days can't commit and follow through which I'm old school and when I care and love about someone on an emotional level there is no one else. I'm 42. Have some experience in the dating field. Sites like pof are a waste of time because of the mindset of people. Back in the day without online dating people may have strayed but these days it's like some want to string as many as 10 ppl at a time. Anyhow just needed to vent. But yes there are bad ppl out there that can't be honest for the life of them. Without that how can you get close to anyone. It's difficult. I don't have any kids. Hardly any family left. I may have my inflictions but I know what it takes to be in a successful relationship. I Havnt reaches out to her. Deleted her number and info. I would have least thought she would give me an apology or something but guess we have to give ourselves closure and move on.

Chefjp, it gets lonely at times for us all. Even those in long term, committed relationships.

Personally, I'd rather be single than be with the wrong person (that's for sure) and fill my time working on myself.

You sound like a good, sincere guy who deserves someone like minded and equally good hearted to share life with.

I hope you find that. As disappointing as your experience was, try to be thankful that you found out now and not after you had invested any more in that relationship.

The right person will show up in your life at the right time, and in the interim live your life for YOU.

Check out the show "Catfish" . It's really quite remarkable the lengths and extent some go to in order to get "love" and con others online.

And they're mostly sad, lonely people. But they don't seem to realize (or care) that they're being deceptive or screwing with someone else's emotions. All they seem to care about is filling the emotional void in their own lives. Quite an eye opener.

Many use dating sites to pass the time and flirt
With no real intention of anything further thats
Why they are there. I hear newly single women
Talking about dating sites. Sounds like a one big
Crazy playground to me.

Personally i think it can get addictive like sexting
and facbook drama. They Are chatting with these
people and get involved Emotionally just do not
want a normal relationship.

I think with many lonely People it just passes
The time and it heals their rejection wounds
While they are not in a live relationship. HUGS

"I think with many lonely People it just passes
The time and it heals their rejection wounds
While they are not in a live relationship. "

I agree with you Miranda.

And people are in their safe little comfort zones behind their computers, where they're removed from many of their fears and insecurities.

Many dump their online "love" when the situation evolves into the actual reality of meeting and connecting in real life.

Sorry that you met a woman online that gave you the impression that you are mutually exclusive. The truth is that many people both men and woman either over rate him/hersel or are hiding behind the computer because of their own personal issues. I think you stand a better chance of meeting someone if you join a group example, dinning meet up group.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I often am afraid I won't find love again & that I'll never feel at home again, so I can relate. It's an awful feeling. Guess we just have to keep pushing ourselves to think positive and hang in there:) I wish you well.

I think my biggest fear has been of being left
And of being Alone. I need to heal myself and
get healthy, thats My job no one elses to fill up
That void i feel. HUGS

Yeah I can totally agree with getting healthy. But everyone should be deserving of love. I know for me I'll never stop trying to improve or what have you. At the same time when finding that right person they can also be your moral support as you are to them. That's why too they say when volunteering you are helping yourself as helping others. It's a win win. Just think having that unconditional love when you wake up and go to sleep knowing that there is someone thinking about you. Being 42 and not a wealthy guy I fear sometimes that won't happen. If ppl could see right through me they see someone caring,lovable,passionate and loyal. Hard part is with online ppl go for looks first. So not being the male model I was at 20 it's kinda hard lol. Sorry just trying to be lighthearted.

I know i thought i had unconditional love In my marriage
it had turned one sided and i did Not see that until i was
in too deep.

I had been Married for 30 years and it had started
going Badly in 2003 i should have left then because
it became very unhealthy and turned toxic. Its takes
two healthy Mature people to have a good healthy
marriage. HUGS

I think ppl can either bring out the best or worst in each other too. It's like everyone wants the notebook love but doesn't want to walk through the fire to get it. Def not good if in an abusive relationship.