We are all human, subject to human failings. Cheating whether it be emotional or physical is a human failing albeit a monumental one. Once a cheater always a cheater? No. It is a blanket statement that does not apply to every situation. People can change. Some choose not to. Those are the ones who will likely always repeat their patterns of behavior.

That said, this is MY human failing... cheating to me is a monster flashpoint. It is an unforgivable transgression and whether or not the cheater would be willing to do the work to rebuild trust in the relationship would be irrelevent. With me there are no second chances. You cheat....we're done. Period. If that makes me the bad guy...so be it. But this is one line that cannot be crossed with me.

Yes, he will not want to cheat again, but not with you. Sorry.

Well, I don't know what to say....all I want to know is what do you consider a man that cheated, lied about how many times, how long it was going on....tried counselling but never gave up the affair and called the counselling and playing me "a part in his gameplan and little game". I lost in that game, I was made a fool of and the trying to accept it and make ammends and trying to rebuild was all a game. It played with my heart (still in pieces) and my kids hearts. Will he cheat again...dunno, don't care, he won't be my problem the next time. But if it was that easy after 20 years together, I would have to say it will be easy again. JMO.

I think, if one cheats even once, and they were ok with it, if the opportunity presented itself again, they would.