Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Kevin5jm 10/11/2007

I am sooo frustrated...how do I keep going...all of the things I have had to deal with int he last 18 months, my kids coming clean about their sexually abusive biological father, me losing my job, my dad dying, I get diagnosed with Bi-polarism and then my wife wants a divorce, now I am pre-foreclosure because I can't afford my house anymore with my ex moved out......

Does anyone remember the last time you were truly happy? How did it feel to wake up in the morning and WANT to get out of bed and face the day...to WANT to hit it and can't wait to go go go!! Do you remember what it was like to be happy? I can't remember the last time I felt this way. The last time I was able to get up and face my life knowing all was good. I used to be that way. I loved doing what I was doing, I loved getting up int he morning and getting going...now I just want to cover back up and curl up and tell the world to bugger off!!! Do you remember having friends who were true and real friends that you knew would always be there for you no matter what? I can't...I just don't know which way to turn or what to do next...sorry all...just venting!! Thank you to all my DS friends...you have been amazing!!

Kevin5jm 12/02/2007

BUMP

deleted_user 12/02/2007

Kev, I've never been a morning person..but I know what you mean. I recently wrote in my journal that I found a moment in time where things were going well and I had nothing to complain about..I found myself in uncontrollable tears knowing that the moment won't last for long.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

I haven't been happy in a long time.

I have glimmers of it now. Some specific friends that make me happy. Some upcoming events that I'm looking forward to that I'm happy anticipating.

I hope there's more happiness on my horizon. Hope there's more on yours too.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

Right now it's hard to remember the last time
I was really happy. With the divorce plus all that has happened all I can say is now life really sucks. I can relate.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

when the world seem much nicer and my children had not lost their innocence.

Thriver 12/03/2007

Yes. I was happy today. It was a clean, nice feeling. I had pretty much forgotten. I felt a glimpse of it when I stopped sleeping in the room where my marriage died. I felt a taste of it when we started to celebrate Christmas without the negative albatross around our necks. And today I had a very good social experience without him flirting, scowling, complaining, wearing something inappropriate, complaining, or drinking too much. I talked and smiled and laughed without worrying and without a pit of dread in my stomach that I didn't even know had been there.
Happiness is going to sneak up on you little by little. You will hardly recognize it at first. It will be like the little flashes of sunshine between trees. It will come back.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

The date wouldn't have anything to do with these emotions would they?

Dec 6 will be here soon and then we can be depressed about Christmas and New Years.Doesn't that sound sweet?

Seriously though,just hope it helps to know we care and hope you feel better.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

aww- I felt a little happy today for the first time after excesizing! I felt happy all day Sat. watching my joyful 1 year old grandaughter. And I feel really blessed that I have so many true friends- they have kept me going through all of this- I am SO sorry you feel you don't have true friends- you need them so badly right now. Please go somewhere where you can connect with other adults- not a bar- but maybe a church or a live support group. You are in the pits right at the holidays and you need to get out, move and be active! You will be happy again- one day at a time!!

deleted_user 12/03/2007

this is really making me think - I don't know the last time I was really happy.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

Kev, you will get there, I know you will. But I have to wonder, how are you defining happiness?? I think the trap we get ourselves into is thinking that another person can make us happy. Find your happiness. Get out there and go for it. Focus on YOU. For me, I'm looking for all I have to be grateful for instead of all I have to be upset about - and it really does make a difference. I'm happier than I think I've ever been - and I never would have believed that was possible even three months ago. NOW, do I WANT to get up out of bed everyday??? THAT'S another discussion all together ;)

deleted_user 12/03/2007

March 2002 just before I suspected my ex's first affair was beginning

deleted_user 12/03/2007

Kevin, I'm so sorry that you feel this way.

I do have true real friends. My BF at work is a TRUE FRIEND. In fact one time when I was going to really lose it at work, I emailed three friends that have been there for me from the very beginning and asked them to pray for me b/c I was going to lose it. I immediately got two calls and one email from them and they told me to hold on. It was the BEST feeling in the whole world.

I am starting to get that true happy feeling again. And it really feels good! I want to stay there forever but circumstances being what they are some days I forget and want to breakdown.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

I can remember how exciting all of these things seemed not so long ago - the prospect of raising children, advancing a career, piling up money for the family and retirement, sharing it with a life -long partner.

There comes a time when you wake up and realize that you are spending the vast majority of your time so that other people can find their identity, nourish their interests, etc. - and you are there to fund it.

Venting also.

bigguy3 12/03/2007

I can sympathize with you. As I went through my divorce I felt everything slipping away. I felt that all my happiest moments were spent with my (now ex) wife. And that is true to an extent. I did have a lot of happy times with my (now ex) wife. However, they are not my only happy times. Once I moved out from under the cloud of doom that I had been dragging around with me for several months, and let the sunshine warm me again, I realized that I was happy without her, I was happy with her, and I have been happy since the marriage ended. Allow yourself to explore your feelings outside of the marriage. You will likely discover that there was a pretty great guy there that was happy in his life. Get familiar with that guy again and start to live your life with a fresh perspective. It can work wonders. Good luck.

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