He sounds like my ex. She's so invested in the relationship she's building with the new guy (the OM from the second affair) that she seems completely oblivious to my sruggles or pain. She honesly seems baffled as to why I'm not "out there" living it up. To feel regret or remorse would mean she has looked at herself and her actions. 3 divorces under her belt make that a heroic assumption.

You probably have to have a compassionate sense in order to feel regret which is different, I think, from feeling quilty. Regret, I think, means, your present life is probably not so great. ????

some people have zero feeling
he is jerk
do not count on his humanity
go on and forget about how do he feel

QuinC, my husband of 12 years told me - while I was lay in bed with twins in my belly and having contractions due to late pregnancy - that he would leave me. Yep, he left to be with another woman. He broke up even before his kids were born. Regrets? I don't think he has any. His own words, "I can't apologize to you because nobody can be blamed for what happened. It's nobody's fault." Believe me when he said, it hurt so much. All I can say is I hope the gal is worth it.

This all I keep thinking about as well. How do you hurt some one in this way and destroy your family with seemingly no regard for the lives you are impacting. I cry about my wife's cold heart everyday. Who is this person? Who am i to have married a person so cold?

I believe some do regret it, but I think something has to happen to make them regret it. For example, maybe the relationship with the ow/om tanks and then the cheater finds out all he/she has lost.

I don't think my ex regrets it because he can't even admit to himself that he had an affair, even with evidence staring him in the face. He continues to delude himself and it has been over five years since I kicked him out. I believe that is why he has the skank ho/now wife contact me about anything. If he can pretend I don't exist, he doesn't have to have regrets. Yes, very sad and quite sick in a way. But it is his problem, not mine.

Live your life and work on you. I used to hope he felt regret, used to wait for the letter or call that would come saying "I'm sorry I hurt you." The letter and call have never come and my counselor helped me understand that it never would. Closure is what you make for yourself.

Sending healing hugs!

I waited a long time for the call saying I was wrong and I'm sorry. It has never come. It doesn't need to anymore. Karma took over in her life. While I will never hear the words, I know if she could go back in time and do things differently, she would. They say the best revenge is living well. That's what I am trying to do. Let fate, karma, God, and the world deal with her.

I had a similar conversation with my therapist about this recently. I asked him: "how can he go on treating his kids the way he does, and live a completely messed-up life, and act like I'm an evil bitch when he caused all of this? If it were me I would be feeling like crap, and I'd get myself into therapy to figure out why I'm like this so I could make it up to my kids at some point in the future." My therapist said: "he's not you. That's what you would do, but that's because you have compassion and think about others. He doesn't. He can't think of anyone but himself. You are 2 different people, and he's incapable of having empathy for others." Wow! That said it all. It's so true. We think from our own perspective about how we would handle things, but in reality we wouldn't be in this predicament if they had handled things the way we would have. Something to think about.