I feel you. Depression is like quicksand. No matter how much you try and move, it feels like you're going no where. Music helps me. As well as animals. Often times scents can help too. If you ever wanna chat, I'm here

Depression could be a medical problem and / or a psychological problem. I am on a mood stabilizer. Can you get medical or psychological diagnosis? Then again, it could be existential or situational, in which case one needs to solve problems of one's situation. I know that when I have a real life problem which I find it difficult to solve, I get depressed. What I am trying to say is that everyone experiences depressions sometimes but too much of it and too severely should alert us to get medical or psychological help.

I'm going to try to get in to a counselor. My husband is leaving me without giving me a reason but is running around to other people telling them it's me that is filing, or tonight I overheard him talking on the phone telling all kinds of lies about things I supposedly did. Does he really believe these lies or is he just trying to get people to assuage his guilt? I'm just so heartbroken

I am sorry to hear that your husband is untruthful. Please go get some help. You need an advocate, someone who can advise you and advance your cause.

I have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow. It just hurts that someone I love so much could say all those lies about me. As if I wasn't already hurting enough

I broke it off with the man I was seeing for 3 years following my divorce, and I remember posting here when I found out he had been going around to mutual friends telling nothing but lies.

It was very hurtful because my emotions were still a bit raw.

Looking at it now it's because of his own lack of self esteem and need to not be exposed for the jerk he is to others.

It was disappointing because it just negated our entire time together.

I see now that I dodged a bullet in getting away from him, but again it was disappointing.

He even began telling people I was an alcoholic, which couldn't be further from the truth. I don't drink.

Just shows how low some people will go to preserve their fragile sense of self.

It's hurtful I know, but it's him.

I am with you on that. I am making progress but everything is so much harder. Mike and simple decisions is so much harder. Simple every day things that are automatic requires the effort to decide whether I do it or let it wait. Is get help from my therapist and consider the possibility of medication to help. Please read about depression and web MD.com. find a good lawyer and let him or her advise you on everything about dealing with your husband and communication and finances. He find a good lawyer and let him or her advise you on everything about dealing with your husband and communication and finances. Please do everything you can to prevent listen into garbage from your husband including not looking at Facebook. Everything you see your hear is more garbage you have to process and will feed your depression. Medication and therapy are helping me deal with the recent divorce but it is very hard work.

There have been days when I had to psych myself to get out of bed too. Mornings are the worst. Not too long ago, in fact. It was the 3 year period or so where I was coming to grips with the realities of my (bad bad bad) marriage. I'd give myself tasks to do, simple things like empty the dishwasher. Yes, I thought, I can get up to empty the dishwasher, that's no biggie. The day got better once I was up.

As far as the lies he's telling, there's nothing you can do about them. You just have to let it roll off your back, really because you're unable to do anything else. You can't walk around and give your side of the story to everyone he's talking to. You can't take out a billboard that says that your stbx is a big fat liar. You could crumble from the pain of it, yes, that's the easiest route, or you could let it go. That's the hard part, and a counselor should be able to help you with that. For me, once I got out of the haze and started taking concrete steps to protect myself and get on with the divorce I started feeling so much better. Like I was in control of my life again. I can happen for you too. Get strong, get a renewed purpose in life (even if the purpose is just to survive the next year). Good luck, be "regal" again, regaloctopus!

Thanks everyone

Thanks, I've been wondering that too if there is another person. I met with an attorney today and he is not going to be happy about what they had to say. The sad thing is, I know I'll be okay, I've always been a planner, always been the responsible one and the one to take care of everything but I know he won't be okay. He's on the verge of losing his job and I worry for him. I worry about a person who doesn't want me. Not interfering or doing things for him is one of the hardest things for me

Once you physically separate, that's when real healing begins. It's hard to imagine now, but it really will get better when he is completely out of your life and cut off everything. When I finally was able to do that with my cheating ex wife is when my healing accelerated.

Regal, we have a saying over on our divorce forum...if his lips are moving he is LYING. It's so sad that someone that we built a life with, love and were loved by, the person we share everything with, has to vilify us to break away. But that's what happens, more often then not. He (in both our cases) has to build a case against us to let himself off the hook. Sure, he may have done something awful, maybe had an affair, maybe just an emotional one, who knows....point is, he can't POSSIBLY be one of the bad guys!!! Oh no, not HIM! So he builds a fantasy and he actually starts to believe it. Honey, I hate to tell you, but the guys who do this, well, there's no turning back. He just doesn't see you as the loving kind wife anymore. You are the enemy. So so so sad. Divorce sucks. Sorry honey. Chin up and carry on, you will get through this and there is indeed life and sunshine on the other side.

So sorry Regal. I can relate as my now ex did this to me. It is difficult to deal with the lies. He asked me for a divorce 4 times and when I finally relented told everyone it was my idea including me and made me pay for it! Oh and I was also looking to move on to someone else a slu# and a whor#. Clear is right it is due to their lack of self esteem and wanting to appear "the good guy"to everyone else. It is difficult because they attack your character with their lies and do negate what you had together. Try to ignore it as hard as it is. They love if you acknowledge this as they are getting to you. Hang in there

Thank you, I haven't said anything to him about what I heard but it just eats at me. He told me yesterday that he feels no care or love for me anymore and doesn't feel anything at all. It's difficult to understand how someone you've committed to and loved feels nothing towards you

That is a checked out spouse, my ex of 30 years
Hates my guts. I sort of laugh even though its not
Funny. Its what they convince themselves of so
They can go about the business of cheating and
Being rotten. My ex showed no remorse or concern,
I was a dead zone. He Closed the door, no care nothing,

His heart was open to his new love only not the old.

I dont know your situation my ex actually checked out
Long before he started looking at women. He refused
To see his part in the problems. So the marriage kept
Going down hill. HUGS