Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello everyone. I feel like I am all alone in this with NO ONE TO TALK TO. My husband decided he wanted to separate 2013 after 20 years of marriage. I begged and pleaded with him not to do this. He did not want to go to counseling. I move out on my own for the first time in 2014. Signed divorce papers September 2016( his choice). He came back in my life November 2016. Divorce was finalized December 2016 and literally thought nothing of the divorce because he was back in my life and he actually cried when the divorce was finalized. Over the course of these last 4 years have been torture for my well being. He has been in several relationships while still in my life and when I confront him he always say "we not married anymore." April 2020he asked if he can move in with me; I agreed. My lease will be up at the end of January 2021. I asked him if would stay on with me and renew the lease with me or move some where else together. He flat said no. In one conversation we had he said I was "safe" and that I did not pressure him about relationship or marriage like other women. This statement hit me like a bullet. WOW !!!! We don't sleep in the same bed. We haven't had sex since 2019. I feel like I did back in 2013. I feel so stupid for wasting these years. I feel he didn't respect me as his wife and now I feel he don't respect me as a friend. I am hurting so bad right now!!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
No, he is not your friend.
Having him be in the same home, is only torturing yourself. You see him going out with other women. He has no interest in making your marriage work again.
This is not a mentally healthy situation for you. He will NOT change. But, YOU can change.
He needs to move out and get his own place. You do not need or want to see him dating other girls. If he refuses to move out, then you move out. It is not that hard to do, you can do this. When couples break up, one moves out. They do not continue to live together.
You are stronger than you think. You can do this. Start by having separate homes.
In order to heal and grow from this...you will have to do several things.
1) Stop dissecting, mulling over, and fine combing every damn word he says. Why? Because it's hard to keep up with lies, confusion talk, and a man who changes his mind like the wind direction.
Instead, start writing down HOW YOU FEEL. What you know to be true (fight the self doubt...b/c it will be there if you've endured this type of relationship for a lengthy period). How does this make you feel at the end of the day. Trust your gut, your intuition, and put what you truly think ahead of the false hopes crumbs he gives you.
2) When the lease is up, kick his ass out. Change your number. Don't tell him where you're moving too. He will always leach on your kindness and forgiving heart. He sounds like the type who will still ask to live with you even if you had a new husband.
3) Even if you guys were just friends...friends don't treat each other this way. Really think...would I even like to hear this story from a friend about how she was putting up with this crap? No. Then it's not good enough for you. You deserve the sun and the moon...and a man who treats you 100x better than this jerk.
4) The confusion, the accepting less - that's all part of how emotional and psychological abuse works. If you thought back to how you were 20 years ago....the person you are today...accepting this treatment...you would not recognize her. Don't beat yourself up. It has happened to many I repeat MANY OF US. Smart, intelligent, loving women and men...who give out second chances and want to see good in people.
We can't see good in these people...who leach on our good graces. Stop it.
5) Get yourself a good therapist...and in the meantime...I highly suggest the blog: Esteemology.com by Savannah Gray. She is clear, concise, and been in our shoes. It's so different when you hear someone else going thru what you are...and the madness is not your fault.
It's how emotional abuse works, continues, and exist.
You are obviously a very loving, generous, and kind woman...while you heal...direct that all back to yourself...and when new people come into your life...have boundaries in place...b/c these emotional abusers are like shark in water...can sense blood and benefit from 1000 miles away.
Let's stop your bleeding and get you - back to you.
Sending you light and love, and prayers!
WALK AWAY---- KICK HIM OUT AND BLOCK HIM ON EVERY LEVEL.
whew... now you need to focus on yourself.
Love yourself, respect yourself, care for yourself.
Start a daily journal, you need to heal from all of this, you need to have your own personal dignity returned. You need to have a good support group who will help you grow and heal, and be the best version of yourself that you are meant to be as gift from God.
Allow yourself to feel the pain, feel the abuse, feel the hurt he has caused.
Know that you have emotions and they can be hurt, Love yourself in this time, forgive yourself in this walk to a new healthy life.
Nurture yourself and care for your soul, spirit and mind, Yes it will take time, and if done properly you will be even happier than you have ever been. Yes you are on the roller coaster of life, but it is by design, and purpose to give you a full rich life. Our life is exactly like a rollercoaster is full of ups and downs, but mostly its a lot of slow, boring, normal, mundane things going on. The valleys in our life hurt, bring us pain, make us think bad things. Where as the mountain tops make us forget about the valleys, the climb up is exciting, unknowing, and many times suspenseful. Sometimes the climb up is scary, brings out our fear. Afraid of change. even allowing ourselves to slide back down into the hurt and known. It hurts but we stay because it is comfortable.
You must climb out of that comfort zone and do the work of healing yourself and keep climbing because you are worth it.
I pray you are safe and healthy.
Do anyone know of ANY SUPPORT GROUPS IN MEMPHIS TN??
Hmmm. Try to Google "therapists in Memphis, TN" or "support groups in Memphis" and hopefully something will turn up. Therapists sometimes know of any support groups in the area.
Good luck. Stay strong. You can do this. You will be okay. You will feel so much better once he has moved out.