I have been married 34 years. During this time our marriage has been pretty difficult, but in spite of that we have persisted and coexisted. However recently this is simply not possible any more. I cannot live with him, and he cannot live with me, and there is no bending or changing this. .
My husband has basically told me he doesn't like me. He suffers from extreme issues with paranoia and jealousy, and is completely convinced that I am a chronic liar. The only thing that would make him happy is if he were attached to my hip. He would want to read all my emails, monitor all my calls, and probably go everywhere with me, even to classes I attend occasionally. He finds excuse after excuse to invalidate, grill, or otherwise accuse me. Recently he tried to demand sexual intimacy, and I explained I am not going to be intimate with a jailer, or someohe who acts like a warden rather than a husband. I told him that intimacy and trust are key, and his response to that was, "I have to stand up for myself with your chronic "lies" and if I do not I become a pile or puddle of waste". This is irrational, and there is nothing I can say about this. The lies are completely in his mind. An example of the so called lies:
A friend of mine called eleven at night. I didn't look at the number and was annoyed that someone would call. He asked me who it was, I said heck if I know. A few minutes later I did look and it was a girlfriend of mine he doesn't like. I decided to take the call in the basement away from him because I didn't want him upset, or to start an argument. It turned out my friend's child had hurt itself and she wanted my opinion about wheter she eneded an ER. Two days later I did tell my husband who it was. His contention was that Iied and sneaked around. My contention is I didn't want to start anything and was trying to keep the peace.

It's always something he harps on about my so called "lies". It's twisted, it's sick, and I am sick emotionally and spiritually from it.

I have been told to seperate from him but this is simply impossible. The issue is that I am disabled, but was denied social security benefits. I have been a housewife, and what social security would have given me wouldn't have fed a flea. My husband has absolutely no money to give me in spousal support. Our debt exceeds his income. The house is mortgaged to the hilt and worth less than what we owe. Cars are not ours. In short I have no place to go to seperate myself from him, and no money to do it with. I have no friends, no relatives, nowhere to turn. Right now we exist in seperate rooms not speaking, not talking, and generally avoiding each other. I feel as though my life is over. I'm fifty four, and I do not feel any other person would want me as I am disabled and unable to work. I am incredibly lonely, and lost. I feel hopeless, trapped, and useless

I have no support system at all.