Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Dating is brutal... it takes WORK. And I'm not willing to put in that work, so I'm no longer dating. lol... Plus, I hate the kind of rejection/game playing you described. What a head case she is!!! Good Lord dude, you deserve so much better.
Hang in there. May it "just happen" for all of us. :)
:)
Heave: youre on a dating site. Isnt it expected that you both would be out meeting all kinds of people?
Yes, if shes not interested, she should just tell you. Maybe she doesnt know what she wants and doesnt know how to say it. Maybe your taking it too personally
Im sooo with Lynne on this one! K.I.S.S. keep it simple...
Stop calling her or giving her the time of day. She doesnt know what she wants yet. She could fear the possibility of you guys getting involved or her messing things up.
Let it go... Youll save yourself a heartache
Anyway, sorry this is being difficult for you.
Lynne
As a single person that is committed to dating, we all should be required to wear a sign that says exactly what we want, what to expect, etc... I am so tired of guessing, and getting it wrong, I to am a nice guy, have a lot to offer, but here I sit, another Saturday night gone..... getting damn tired,
I don't understand what it takes anymore, it's been too long ago, 18 years. Where do we find good women that want to be with us without playing the games, tell me, I want to know... you women have any suggestions for the nice guys in this crowd....
I obviously can't pick em for myself, otherwise I would still be married, slow dancing in the kitchen with the woman I love, I am probably shooting myself in the foot posting this, but here goes.
I'm almost divorced after 1 1/2 years of hell. That's after over 30 years of marriage. If and when I decide to date I will go so slow I'm sure I'll turn many men off. I don't care. I will go at my own pace.
If it's not working for you, move on. Good luck.
Think about this. One of my self help books says healthy people are not interesting to codependents of the love addict or love avoidant variety. If a person doesn't volunteer to solve their problems, doesn't ooze seduction, doesn't engage in intense arguments, thinks for themselves, says directly what they mean, and solves their own problems they appear as boring, insensitive, strange, too smart, too independent, etc.
You may have dodged a bullet. you may be healthy enough to appear boring and avoid a potential emotional train wreck.
I say develop a list of questions to ask on the first date. Add subtlety [sp?] as required.
1. has anyone ever called 911 during an argument you were involved in.
2. have you ever gotten drunk after breaking up with someone.
3. Have you ever experienced 'love at first sight'? Did you feel euphoric (high) when it happened?
4. Have you ever dreamed up an elaborate plan to:
a. get someone who left you to return to you.
b. get revenge on someone who left you.
5. have you ever carried out the plan.
If you get more than 2 hits, RUN.
peace-
Deramo