I meant that I had not dated until recently when I joined POF and the two I mentioned were the two dates thus far.. LOL.

yep yep. Suddenly the world changed and nobody gave us the new books

well, you're at least GETTING dates

OMG HeaveToo! This is EXACTLY how I feel and how I am too. Here's what you posted that hit home for me........"I don't want to settle for anything. I want to find the right person....even if it takes a while. The problem is meeting them because I have a rough time meeting people.

I am not in a hurry to get in a relationship, I want something meaningful and not just someone to fill the void. I want it all!

I am not the most patient person either and I get fustrated easily. This is fustrating because I have fumbled my way through 3 dates already. What a pain."


Well, unlike you, I don't have a hard time meeting people, but I also want something meaningful and don't just want someone to fill the void. I want it ALL also! I'm not the most patient person either, but I have learned to deal with it. Patience is a virtue. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship at the moment. Even though my ex and I have been broken up for like 3 months now, I want to take my time and analyze everyone that I meet before taking that step again. I don't want to rush into anything again like I did with my ex. I only rushed into it with her because I thought she was "the one"...and she turned out to be a childish horrible disaster after the breakup...and she broke up with me for a fucked-up reason...but it is what it is.

I just wish there was a sign to let you know if a particular is "the one". Obviously, my detection of "the one" was wayyyyy off. But this dating thing does suck though..but I do want "Mrs. Right".

Geo, I have had enough "offers" to have a date every night for a year if all I wanted was a superficial hookup, but I have found a hand ful of men that are meaningful.. BUT I had to sift through a lot to find them. In the over 200 messages I have received this week, about 20 have been from men over 40, and the youngest has been 19... There is quite the draw for an older woman over there if that is what you are looking for..I have a standard reply for them now and it is going a little quicker.. I am kind but firm, and I don't just say no because of age. I have a couple that are young that I talk too, but they have some depth. I can handle that. If it just the ones that are crude that I can't. Good luck to all entering the dating scene. I was shell shocked my first few days and would not have made it without the gentle support of some of my friends here ..(((Geo)))) Kimmee

you mean you actually REPLY? I don't get ANY replies to my messages on OKCupid. I do get some people sending me messages first, I reply to ALL of them, but so far none of them went anywhere, most of them are out of towners.

I have a feeling by the time I see my NC friend again I'll have had ZERO other interactions of any consequence. I had hoped to meet a few people to really make sure of what I wanted and that it's not Out there anywhere. Maybe I'm just supposed to take that path without any others

I used to reply to them all, as I thought it was rude to do otherwise, but not I delete the ones without replying that are crude. If they are kind in their approach, it is a kind no thanks back .. Some of them mean well, they just want a Mrs. Robinson experience with a kind older woman.. I take it for what it is worth. I have met a few really nice men there though, so I am glad that I did not give up the first day as I wanted too. Kimmee

I've sent msgs to 40s and 30s.. neither seem to reply. I remember getting one or two who've replied, and some who commented after they noticed I was looking at their profile... but most just go totally ignored.

maybe I'm not being macho enough, I try to talk to them like people, not objects of potential

Dating is what you make of it. Be Glad when someone is up front on that first date...it is Good not to waste your time on more dates if it isn't going anywhere.

Sometimes "Friends" is the most important thing you can find-I made a couple on PoF that I treasure.

If you find someone that you like, because of a trait or two...Remember what you liked about them...add that to your Must Have list. Look for those things in the person that you want as your Forever Person.

Remember that you are never going to Just Settle, you want the best from now on. You are just meeting people and adding experiences to your life. It isn't a promise of Anything right now.

Dating Does take an immense amount of energy and time. I finally looked around at my poor home and told my dogs that I had to knock it off and start cleaning ;-) hehehe I was sick of the meeting and wanted a relationship.

Know yourself, know what is acceptable and what is not. Be prepared to give someone the door. Either opening or closing ;-)

I like that you said Tammi, about them letting me know up front. That does save a lot of grief and it is a good way to look at it. I am taking that with me. Thank you, Kimmee

WOW, maybe its just too soon for you. I mean, hasn't it only been a few weeks since your wife left?

In the state mandatory "parenting" class that I recently took. The guy said it takes the average person about 3 years to get back on their and be really ready for a realtionship. I kept thinking...I don't think I have three years to get myself back together. Dating sounds so scary...

May I suggest places like hardware stores, nurseries and big warehouses stores like Sam's. Some of us single women go there regularly :) I'm not kidding either. I get hit on there all the time.
Another link would be groups that hike or cycle together... Some travel agencies cater trips to sinlge people only. A friend of mine went to New Zealand like that and met a woman. Join a book club... Take a class at the local community college. It also depends on what you like to do.
Don't try too hard. It will come in time.

I think I am going to have to let go of my wife in my heart before I can date. It is a scary thought. I have never dated before. I am more than likely going to leave it to fate as I live life. I am not going to seek it and if it happens it happens. I really do hope so. I do know I am far off wanting a relationship at this point.

Maybe in 2 years time when things are getting ready to explode I might look more into it.

I guess it does take time. I know it did for me. It had been 3 yrs 6 months 22 days and well, you all get the picture, for me to even have so much as a hug from a man. When I went to see bunny man, I know that I pestered him and got the rug for those hugs and they gave them to me. I am really ready to be out there in the world and am going to keep my eyes open to the possibilities that may come. I am not holding my breath though as it seems most want to just have that ONS and leave you in the dust. I have no time for people like that. I hope that we all have our hearts healed before we start dating and that takes as long as it takes. Take the time you need to heal and the rest will take care of itself. I have received my first offer of a motorcycle ride. Yipppee. Kimmee