It's been a while, but the cycle is repeating itself. I feel like I am plucking leaves off a flower, "she loves me, she loves me not." I feel like the problem I really have is I give too much control to her to determine how our relationship is going to be. Each time she comes at me with "I want a divorce" it hurts a little less. We've been doing this since the beginning of our 23 year marriage. I am by no means a perfect husband and I am not looking for sympathy. I am considering a dignified divorce. I am not going to fight her about it. I am just going to move on. Our kids are grown, although some of them with their significant others still live in my house. The only asset we have is the house. I'll sell it and split the money with her, sucks but each of us is entitled to half. Kids gotta find a place to live though. I am done fighting. It's really stupid to be honest. I have been fighting rejection all these years. I have been previously divorced so I feel like I may not be a good spouse. I am hard of hearing and am treated for bipolar disorder (which I don't think I have, just couldn't cope with bad times in the past, but I will work with my doctor on this). I have been married 28 of my 49 years on this earth. I've raised 5 kids. I put a lot of effort in and I have a lot of scars mentally and physically from the hard work I do and the bad times in our marriage. I need a therapist but it's actually kind of hard to find one with my insurance. Maybe I will do virtual appointments. I am ready for better things in life. I have fought too hard too long for nothing in the end. I am mad at myself. I let this go on far too long. I am just so reluctant to make changes in my life, no matter if they are better for me.