Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Im going through a divorce that is really taking a toll on me. I have some major legal issues with my soon to be ex wife going on. I'm 10 months sober and dealing with my struggle of recovery. And most of all I'm dealing with alot of anxiety. I feel really alone and I'm scared that my wife is going to take everything from me, the little that I have left. I feel like nobody will ever understand me and I feel so sad that the only person I seem to be able to connect with is my mom which I do appreciate alot because I know that some people don't have a parent that they can confide in. I have trouble getting to sleep and I constantly have some kind of media on because the second I'm left with my own thoughts I become so anxious and nervous I feel like its hard for me to breath. I have got on some medication and it was helping for a while but circumstances have heated up and as the divorce progresses and the legal stuff is getting very stressful for me I'm increasingly becoming more anxious. I feel very depressed and alone. I have alot to be grateful for in my life but I feel like I messed up everything and no matter how much money I ever earn or whatever I acheive I will never be able to recover what I wanted to get out of life. I feel very self concious about how I look and socially I feel like I have a really hard time being around friends because I'm so uncomfortable mentally that I can't be a good friend. I feel like I'm rambling but it seems this spiraling is all I do. I feel like I should talk to somebody but I hate therapists, I feel like I can never be honest with them. I can't even be honest with myself and then I always get into treating issues that don't exist and not tackling the things I need to because I mostly feel like therapists are enablers of self-avoidance.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
Lawyers can really help you with what to do legally, to make sure she doesn't take everything financially from you.
I know this is a difficult time. Feel free to vent to us, tell us what is going on with this divorce??
Taking care of yourself now will help you to feel a lot better. Make sure you are sleeping enough, eating healthy, getting exercise, go for walks, be out in nature... get back to the basics of taking care of yourself. Slow down, take deep breaths. You will get through this difficult time. Keep writing it out...
You are not alone.
1. Be careful of lawyers. Its very easy to use them as a sounding board, to appreciate their compassion for your situation, BUT THAT'S NOT THEIR JOB. You don't want to start paying them 250-350 per hour to say your wife caused the breakup, she's narcissistic and manipulative, and you have been an enabler by tolerating her actions. Look to a friend for support and have them do the limited amount of work needed. Be organized, and present information to them clearly to minimize their work.
2. Budget At each stage when work is needed, you need to assess what is the goal, chance for success, and can this be done easier or quicker. So if she came late twice for parenting time, you need to review whether to spend 4,000 on a motion for contempt, or just a short later documenting the violation. Make sure legal papers are designed to present your best face to the judge, rather than rattling off misdeeds to impress the client.
3. Delays Recognize this can be a stressful process and you need to be under control. Some things you can't address and then you just do the best you can.
You are in a stressful situation and it sounds like it is overwhelming you. Your seeking therapy or talking to a psychiatrist doesn't have to be disclosed in the divorce and is quite common actually so it won't be used against you. But if you are going to continue to lie to yourself and to the mental health professional it won't work. Aren't you tired of living this stress and the lies? Are you ready to change and ready to do the hard work? Maybe yes or maybe no, you get to decide. I am also going to suggest you write down all your fears on a piece of paper and then counter that fear instead of ruminating in it. Write down money and then write the counter argument. You worry about how you look so write down something positive about yourself. Many churches have divorce recovery groups and that could help you.
You may have to go through a few to find the right one,but when you do find one who will listen to you it will help.
You need to enable to tell your story to, someone who you'd think knowor who knows you.
Your Mother sounds like lovely individual, Mothers are great at giving love and good advice. Maybe ask your Mom to help you find a therapist. It sounds like she loves you very much and would help you.
I do understand about losing everything. I've been through that. The one thing that is really important, your sobriety, your ability to live on and keep learning, no one can take that. Your stuff, well, yes, it is hard to lose that. But you van always get some more stuff someplace. Your ability to look after yourself, to go forward and see what life can be when you're healthy, that is yours forever.
Sometimes a therapist isn't right for us and we need to shop around. Other times it's a trust issue that takes time to work through. You need to feel that trust before you can open up and be honest. It takes a long time, much longer than we think it should. Try to find someone and be patient. I agree, don't use your lawyer as a therapist. They aren't qualified and they cost more. When your divorce is over you can't keep seeing them. You will get through this. Just keep going.