Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm having a rough day today......left a note for my stbx telling him that I am pursuing divorce because he emotionally abondoned me last June and wont talk about anything but wont move out either......he is going to be served divorce papers today or tomorrow but I wanted to make sure he knew from me first since still living together and of course he has been nicer the past 2 weeks....now he is wanting to talk and bringing up things from years ago and twisting things pointing finger at me. I told him in the note that I am sorry things didnt work out and that I tried my best and gave everything I could to our marriage and family and he took that as me blaming him for everything so now he is twisting trying to blame me. I don't claim to be perfect and know that we both played a part in things not working out but it is kind of late to discuss this all now. He has barely spoken to me the past year....you dont treat someone that you love and care about like that for a year and then say you are willing to try to work things out and start bringing up things from 15 years ago.....is it me or is that crazy.....any prayers and support would be really appreciated.....just having a tough time....this is still so hard even though I know it is the right decision.
Goes with the territory with a checked out
Spouse. Our last 12 years were not good i
Wish and pray i left sooner, it only hurt me
More by staying then it got toxic. Once toxic
there is not Much coming back from that.
To me the healing does not begin until the
Divorce is over and decree is in place. Until
Then you could be in a war zone and be in
emotional Overload and overwhelm. I was
with all the Legal and financial decisions. My
Then stbx was not a happy Camper when not
getting his way.
I stayed as mature and reasonable As possible.
Its not the time to have emotional Talks once
The divorce is on the table. Thats it, the Business
at hand only, limit any conversations With him for
your own sanity.
My ex had no remorse or concern for me or what
I thought or felt. He had guilt and shame but that
Did not stop him from his path. HUGS
if kids
a person should do what's best for the family
marriage obligates you to give warnings of things getting sideways, your partner is obligated to listen to the warning, you are both obligated to work on getting things out of sideways
if only one of you is honoring that, things just spiral to crap
you did your best, he choose to not, that puts you in a bad place in which you cannot / should not stay
Didnt mean to make this comment about myself, just wanted you to know i understand the torture of living with someone you wish you could "kick to the curb" -its pure agony! But it has also made me more sure that divorce is the right desicion. -good luck, stay strong, and remember take things one day at a time
only two ways for parents to "protect kids from truth"
1) give them tools\skills to deal with truth (reality) both pleasant and unpleasant
2) don't make truth that you have to hide from them
There isnt abuse in the house, at least not in the normal sense. No fighting anymore (i believe the only reason couples should fight is to fix or change something; ive made peace with the fact that things wont change so i dont start arguments anymore and walk away when he does, so its been working) no name calling. Even though we both know where our marriage is headed we are civil to eachother and are focusing on our separate internal issues (at least i am) i am also taking this time to save up for the lawyer i plan to hire in a few years. With 1 kid at college and 2 still at home saving up isnt an easy thing to acomplish. I am doing my research and hope to end the divorce proccess as quickly as possible, if thats unfeasable at the very least ill enter the process knowledgeable
what you describe is a cold house held together for business $
your children do not have a real family
you pretend, they pretend, that things are not so bad
you are doing so thinking it is best for them
( i apologize, you are not full of shit, i was incorrect in saying so, i should have asked for you to explain rather then being wrong, i am sorry)
you have the best of intentions trying to protect them but in keeping a pretend family together it denies your children of a real warm family , warmth that is diminished because of the anger and hurt that you choke down by staying
in my opinion your kids will come through this better if they and established your family with them as only you & they, one real family is better for them then what they have and they'll never get the next three years back, build now
issues while I talk to him gives me a constant reminder of why I have to leave. Hugs your way. You are stronger than you believe yourself to be
He is now not speaking to me again and has not even been served yet....I am expecting today??? My attorney said 2-3 days from Monday. Should be another interesting day. I just have to try to keep my strength to get through this.....and then put on a strong face for my kids. This sucks.