Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone,
I posted just under two weeks ago in regards to my break up with a partner of 3 1/2 years, one of which was very confusing and open ended. I have posted the link if you wanted the background story and to save me repeating myself.
Now I know we are broken up and it has been very difficult to accept. Things are just very confusing on especially in terms of how she dumped me which is explained in the link and her actions post break up.
After the break up she requested we go no contact for a minimum of 3 weeks, which I was adhering too until she text 10 days later asking how I was going and if she could go back to the unit we shared to get some clothes. She also stated that if I wanted to discuss what we were going to do with the unit she'd be happy to meet up and talk about it. Now I was surprised to hear from her so early on and was confused as to why she messaged me when a) she knew I wasn't living at the unit so she didn't need to ask for permission to go there and b) she knows our landlord was away for atleast another 2 weeks which means we can't do anything about the unit until they get back so discussing it seemed a bit daft seeing as nothing could be done at that point. I agreed to meet up with her during which time we spoke for nearly two hours. She told me about her life and expressed that she still wanted to go on a trip to japan with me in 3 months time (this was a trip we had booked to go on for a friends 30th birthday, but the first week of the trip we had booked so we would travel alone before meeting up with friends).
The whole time she looked like she was trying not to cry and like she was hurting. She expressed to me that she wanted to be friends, which I agreed too (although I'm still in love with her, I know BAD idea). She even digressed that when she had seen mutual friends she had asked how I was, I never asked them about her as I didn't want to put them in a bad posistion. She also expressed that her sister which I got along with really well was missing me a lot too. Now that was great to hear but I don't know why she felt compelled to tell me these things? I also made a comment along the lines of "well im glad to see you are looking a bit happier" and she replied with "I wouldn't exactly call it happy..". I didn't even respond to that.
During that chat she said we shouldn't speak every day to avoid confusion to which I just thought was a given that didn't need to be spelled out. She also devulged that she is moving in with her sibilings because her parents are moving interstate and she has no choice but to move in with them. When asked she didnt seem that keen on the idea but then keeps dropping it into conversation how she "has to save money because she is moving into a new place" everytime we discuss finalising ending out lease together. It hurts to hear and I don't get why she is mentioning it when I clearly know that is what is happening.
Since then we have spoken about and I asked her if at some point we could get together to discuss what happened between us. She said that would a great Idea but could we wait until the unit was settled so that she "had a clearer head". I agreed.
Since then she has also agreed to going to a concert with me before our japan trip which I don't really understand. She has also done a few things like re-sending me concert tickets for this week we were supposed to use together (we arent going together anymore to this one) even though I told her I already got them a week ago.
Im sorry for the rant but I needed to get it out of my system as it is driving me nuts. I dont understand her behaviour at the moment and I am someone who really likes things black and white. Am I crazy and reading into things too much or is she really sending me mixed signals?
Any advice or interpretation would be greatly appreciated because I have ZERO idea what the heck is going on and its making it harder to work through my feelings. I feel like maybe she is confused or maybe she really has moved on quickly and just wants to be my friend. Who knows?
