I got along well with most of my former in-laws. Still would too I guess. But I don't have any reason to talk to them so we are slowly growing apart.

This has been a very difficult part for me. In the beginning they were way supportive of me, my MIL even announcing that the OW was never to go to her house ever. The OW is not a part of the picture anymore and she has told most of her family that I will be her only DIL and my kids her only grandkids. My BIL and FIL werent as vocal but were very friendly with me (wrote about this on my journal).

But when STBX came into town and didnt even see the kids and cleared the account they really didn't say anything. They told me they didnt agree but we should try and talk.

I think they have tried to remain on the fence through all this but at some point when you say you care about the kids and don't really DO anything I get resentful.

His first cousin is my BFF and some of his other cousins I still talk to on the net. I saw his uncle which lives here this weekend and he said I would always be welcomed in his house no matter what happened. I think I can be friendly with the inlaws just not friends with them. I may have to start distancing myself because of what STBX is doing. The kids are the ones that lose out in the end because they won't be that close to his side of the family. But like he said, he doesn't care.

yes i sometimes miss my exbf sister. normal. we were friends before him and i started dating. xoxoxoxox

I miss the in laws. The whole family. My mom lives in Georgia and I lost my dad 7 years ago. Her parents were always great to me and treated my like part of the family. I really miss the Sunday dinners and trips to family reunions. I saw the in laws more than my sister and her kids and we live in the same town. I even ran with her dad a bunch and we became pretty close. They are a loving group. Not anything like my family. Not better or worse, just different. I liked it.

I lost a child. My step-son. I don't really write about him because I mourn the loss as if I lost a child. You see, my ex had sole custody of my step-son since his mother ran off with ONE of the many men she was cheating on in exchange for a few stock investments and a car. She sold her child. I took over the role as his mother and that child was broken. He was immersed from being an only neglected child, into a family of his, mine and ours....he gained 3 siblings and hi reconstruction began. HE WAS MY CHILD....my ex was very hands off and this child was so painfully introverted. I nurtured him and loved him as if he was my very own.

The divorced happened...the stupid human tricks that I resorted to were not just for ME holding on to a man; rather, it was me holding on to a family unit....and my step-son. He would plead with my ex not to divorce me because he wanted to grow up with me and his siblings...he pleaded with the ex daily...but my ex found the OW and that was more important to him. He even had taken a day off to spend with his son but, Satan's whore got mad at him and he ended up spending that day off on the computer with the door closed and crying over this woman as his son just sat in his room crying and disappointed. *cleansing breath*

After the divorce, my step-son became angry at the ex and they did not do much communicating and that end of the school year, he went to live with the mother that sold him and I've never heard from him since. I hope he never forgets how much I love him and will always will as he became my child...the one I lost. Sorry for such a lengthy post but, it triggered me and I've not mentioned my step-son much.

So, the casualties are great...everyone lost.

The casaulties suck.
I lost some friends that surprised me.
Others reached out, and we are closer now than ever..

His family? I miss them at odd moments. Holidays feel weird. Sometimes it's great, my mil was at times a manipulative bitch and other times amazingly supportive.
His sister was often the same.
I miss his stepfather most of all.

I still mourn their loss at times. I try to focus on building my new life and filling it with positive people.

My in-laws were racist pigs who never embraced me, MIL never cut the umbilical to her son.

When my son graduated from college all of a sudden we were family and she said I was her favorite DIL. BULLSHIT!

I banned them from the graduation and told them afterall, my son was a half "beaner" and damn proud of it!

My sis' husband's family has been my extended family. They've always included me in family events, reunions etc. My stbx grew up with them as well, so he will lose them.

His loss is greater than mine.

I was actually invited to a b'day part on her side of the family coming up soon, although I suspect it was more of a ploy to get the girls there, but one of my STBX's cousins actually invited me long before the formal invite came, so I was jazzed about that.

I really love her family, I was always made to feel like one of them and I'll keep attending events until she starts bringing the moron boy around, then I'm done.

I spent the last 25 years mainly with her family, she had alienated me from mine therefore her family became mine. After the divorce, her brother contacted our daughter wanting to know if he could call his "brother" I don't mind he really was like a brother but he called only once, I think he caught so much hell from her he never called again....so yep casualties abound,,,,,,,

I'm still friends with everybody in the family. My former father-in-law is actually sending money to my mission trip on my behalf. Not bad for a reject!

Oh and I was there for them when my FIL died when I kicked stbx out. I showed pure class and grace.

It made the other in-law spouses pale in comparison.

I will go..... but with my head held high!!!

This topic is so hard for me to address without wanting to start crying.

I adored my SIL's, my BIL's but blood is thicker than water and no matter what their brother did, I will always be the bitch who divorced him.

I have lost a step-child who I loved as if he were my own child. I have not seen this child in over 5 months and the loss is horrible.

My son adored his step-brother and he misses him dearly.
There is nothing harder than to hear your own child crying in the middle of the night because he misses his brother.

My marriage was bad for a long time, I did what I could to hold it together, but once child endangerment was shoved in my face I had no choice but to act and act fast and remove my stbx from our lives.

This is a funny fact about my divorce, I am the one they invite to all the family functions, not her, does that tell you anything.

Everyone that knew us both, are all still my friends, the only ones that she has is her new friends that don't know me face to face, they all hate me.....

Since he has started dating...they avoid me and before I come over they have to check it out with him. I think they just don't know what to do. Our paths rarely cross outside of his visitation with the kids. He moved 62 miles away and he works 40 miles south of that. He still calls everyday and when I'm feeling strong I will answer.

I am sorry that this post triggered some painful emotions. Though I mostly act like an idiot on this board, I just can't get over the complexity of breakups and divorce. I often use humor to hide away the feelings that this situation has brought me. There are just so many layers to this process. So many people are affected. I almost think that it may actually have been better to never have loved at all, than to have loved and lost. Oh well, enough of the sad, depressing bullshit.