Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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breakup

courtneyvictoria
courtneyvictoria

My boyfriend broke up with me on New Year's. Sucks because I still love him and I'm having a hard time. He called me yesterday  and talked for a long time. He said that he scared to death because I'm his dream girl and it's scary to think that he could be with one person for the rest of his life he's not sure he's ready for that. I reassured him that I'm not looking to get married anytime soon but I want to do it step-by-step like moving in together first. He said that he needs about a week or so to figure his shit out and go to counseling.  but he also tells me not to wait up for him and go date other guys and I don't want to.


 It's honestly a big mind game..  i'm not crying anymore which is good but I've been having this quizzy feeling for the last couple days and I'm not sure if that's normal. It feels like there's a huge knot in my throat and I could throw up any second 


DAVE1010101010
DAVE1010101010
I think he is suffering from attachment disorder.
This is fear of commitment or obligations to commit to anyone in a relationship.
You could be his dream girl although the fear inside can be to overwhelming for him.
Not only with you also with any one that comes to close.
I hope this helps a little.
movingon2016
movingon2016
Are you sure he is not interested in someone else? By giving you permission to see other people he is also giving himself permission to see someone while keeping you on hook. It is a mind game. Don't get trap in his game. Break up with him and not just for a week.
Max---wearethebigbang
Max---wearethebigbang
wow poor you. sounds a bit shocking - i agree with the person above who thinks it's weird that he is giving you permission to date other people in this week. Either he's not that into you, or he's self-sabotaging, or monogamy isn't a big deal to him, or he's just extremely silly.
I think it's a good idea he gets counselling. He needs some by himself. But would you be able to join in with one of the sessions so you guys can talk openly about what you want out of the relationship, etc. and how you feel.
There's a lot of love in the world. i hope you can find some peace in this tough time. whatever is meant to happen will happen. be open and mindful. be kind to yourself. if you do get back with him make sure you feel in your deepest heart that he does love you - don't lie to yourself. good luck...
SassyGrace
SassyGrace
He's been telling you this for a while. I remember your post from the other forum.

He doesn't need counseling because he wants to break it off. He's entitled to do that. She needs counseling because she's not listening to what he's saying and seems unable to move on.

Stop trying to control him. You can't manipulate someone into staying.

Let him go.
Darblar
Darblar
My heart goes out to you and the pain you are experiencing right now. I'm sorry that this is the way your New Year started- just know the year is going to end on a much higher note for you.
If you're like me, than perhaps the most hurtful thing about this experience is that it is making you realize how afraid of being alone you are- I am unpacking that realization myself right now after I broke up with my partner of 8 years in October. Just know that you aren't alone as you deal with this and perhaps this unfortunate situation is what is needed for something better to come along for you.