Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am newly divorced and ordinarily I am fine with everything. My ex-husband and I decided to divorce September 2016 and we took it slow to make sure we did everything right for the kids. Our divorce was finalized only two weeks ago. While making our parenting plan we discussed spending all holidays together the first year because it is the right thing to do for the kids. Actually this was my exes idea. We were planning on spending Easter weekend on the coast at our beach house. However, my ex told me he really didn't want to drive all the way to the coast for just one night and said lets just do an early dinner at his place. I agreed and broke the news to the kids. My daughter was a little upset because she loves the coast but she was fine with it. Well, this morning I discovered my ex did go to the coast to our beach house with his new girlfriend. It's so frustrating defending him all the time but still getting your heart broken. We are supposed to be doing things together for the kids right now. I am so annoyed by this that I really want to tell him I am not coming over. But what would that prove? I would be stooping to his level. I will go to his house for dinner because it is for the kids. Like always I will put my feelings on the back burner because it is what's right for the kids. I will, however, confront him about this. Hopefully I can do this without being interrupted by the kids. I don't want to ruin their day.
If you took some hot guy out to the beach house would it be a topic for conversation with you? You'd think it was his business to haul you over the coals? eek. Don't set up an expectation you don't want to be on the receiving end of.
my my. Sell the beach house and split the money. It's an odd divorce that retains a shared beach house.
He sounds manipulative. I know what that's like. Hope you can figure out how to keep your future relationship strictly business and arm's length. That's what I intend to do.
And IMHO, that beach house is like an extra kid in the relationship. I'd think about selling it. Beat wishes.
What is the harm at this stage of being honest with him?
- kids were disappointed not to go to coast. May never make sense for us to go for one night, and so neither of us or the kids get the full enjoyment of it
- spending holidays together may have seemed like a good idea, but it is not working out for me (of kids)
Good luck!!!!!
You may want to rethink making joint holiday plans with him for the rest of the year, now that he threw a wrench in the plan this time and disappointed them.