Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Everywhere I go I hear the same or similar stories: "I had a meeting with the teacher and my children needs to be diagnosed for (Bi-polar, Autism, ADHD)."
I remember growing up and rarely noticing when a child was showing different behavior. There were divorces, and other issues back then.
Something seems wrong and I don't think that having most of the children in a classroom taking some medication is the right way to address the issue, but this is impossible to ignore. It is happening.
The children play less, they have less friends, the "bullies" and mean people seem to have too much power, and little is being done to break this pattern. Maybe this is causing the emotional stress that brings from early age all these "diagnosed" status.
I agree that there are cases that can be genetic. My mother is bipolar and so is my daughter, but when my daughter was growing up, 90% of her class took medication. I am not kidding.
Is this tech generation really having more behavior challenges or are we as parents, teachers, doctors, "the village", creating somehow this to happen?
I remember growing up and rarely noticing when a child was showing different behavior. There were divorces, and other issues back then.
Something seems wrong and I don't think that having most of the children in a classroom taking some medication is the right way to address the issue, but this is impossible to ignore. It is happening.
The children play less, they have less friends, the "bullies" and mean people seem to have too much power, and little is being done to break this pattern. Maybe this is causing the emotional stress that brings from early age all these "diagnosed" status.
I agree that there are cases that can be genetic. My mother is bipolar and so is my daughter, but when my daughter was growing up, 90% of her class took medication. I am not kidding.
Is this tech generation really having more behavior challenges or are we as parents, teachers, doctors, "the village", creating somehow this to happen?
To address your question, I believe that many doctors and teachers are quick these days to diagnose kids with these problems. What might be assumed to be a chemical imbalance, could very well just be kids being kids. It's sort of a quick fix to the problem, rather than adults taking the time to work with these kids to improve their behavior without meds. Science may be getting in the way with parenting and teaching, for many of these children.
The huge volume of kids also taking the same type of medication may need a different parenting approach. I cannot imagine that only 10% of the class does not need it.
Parenting is hard, dealing with the needs of a child is a full time job right there.
Are these pills being prescribed to so many to control behavior? This is my observation and quite scary.
What they can, and are obliged to do is to request testing to see what a specific child's learning style, disabilities or medical needs are, if difficulties are appearing.
A teacher can verbalize what they suspect, but the diagnosis only comes from extensive testing. If meds are required, that can only be prescribed by a doctor, most often done in consultation with the psychometrist.
At that point a parent can make the choice to administer the meds or not. There are many students in my classes diagnosed with ADHD who opt out of taking meds. I also have an ever growing number of students somewhere on the autism spectrum, from high functioning, to requiring a one-on-one EA.
As a teacher, the benefit of having an official diagnosis is, we then have an extensive list of accommodations at our disposal, to make the student's life easier in and out of the classroom. An autistic student could make good use of a carousel in a quiet corner, whereas a student with ADHD could use time to walk physically through the school to burn off excess energy --the options/accommodations are numerous.
I'm not sure about the extensive use of medications. I see both sides, students who perform and get along better socially because of their prescriptions, and those students who feel "drugged" all the time (I wouldn't want MY son to be on meds at this early an age, I'd try every other drug-free option first, but that's just me).
Are they getting it all right? No way, but it's a start. I think that in 10-20 years they'll know much more about the long term affects of these meds and treatments. They'll know which work better and more about how to screen the kids.
Is it all expensive? Some of it is, but 3rd grade reading scores have long been linked to prison populations and other adult difficulties.
At one time kids that were autistic were simply institutionalized, now early intervention is starting to catch them, and interventions are being tried.
These children are being medicated and diagnosed more now then when we were kids because quite frankly people are more educated and know they arnt bad kids who need to be beat. Its not right to beat your children.
My son is five and has told me point blank he wants to die and how he would do it. Or has been so hyper and angry he has beaten me. He's not bad. Now that he is on meds he dosnt do these things as much. He is happy and can focus. I'm holding my son back in kindergarten a year because he couldn't retain anything. He's not dumb he's adhd and by pussy footing around for so long by the medical community my son will now have to deal with those emotional consequences.
Or better yet being the single parent of an adhd bipolar child. How at the end of the night your so exhausted you break down and cry because you wished you never had that child. But with the child medicated you are happy because you child is happy. Your child hugs you and smiles instead of screaming at you and punching you in the face.
I'm sorry but unless your a teacher or medical professional you have no right to pass any judgement about this topic. Ignorance only passes on more false information. I'm tired of being judged and I'm tired of my son being judged.
Btw it has been proven that children with adhd and bipolar who have gotten no treatment at all be it meds or therapy have a higher chance of self medicating with drugs and alcohol later in life.
That is beyond my comment.
What I am bringing up for discussion is the fact that I noticed that more kids than not are taking medication. Not because they are good, or bad or punch anyone. Simply because there are so many.
You making that observation and pointing out that more children are on medication then questioning if kids really need it is passing judgement.
Yes your daughter is bipolar from my understanding. How old was she when she was dx?
And lastly what exactly does this have to do with break ups and divorce?
This is a touchy topic for alot of people and parents like myself.
This forum is for anything that has to do with what may influence in a breakup and divorce and this is my story.
Anyway - attacking me because I brought up the observation does not link to anything. I respect the fact that, as it is for me, it is also sensitive to others like yourself and it bothers me to think that 90% of a class of little children could be bipolar or similar.
I wonder if there is any other approach. Some indeed are helped with medication while others could use a different approach and it would be good to have the alternative. Of course I am not a doctor. I feel the number of kids in meds is too high.
your observations and ponderings are as valid as anyone else.
There are many perspectives needed to have the full picture. That of the parent, teacher, doctor, psychometrist, and the children themselves, but also unbiased impartial observers too.
It's an upsetting subject for sure, especially if it had impact on a crumbling relationship, and the child's self esteem.
It's easy to see the passion and emotion of both your posts.
I can't vouch for what you see but my son is the minority in his classroom. I battled and had him tested by a team of people. In the end it was my choice to medicated him. Not the doctors they offered it as an option. Would I do it again? In a heart beat.
My son is not bad. Its not a case of my parenting ( I have a nine year old straight a no behavioral problems child too ) its a case of my son having a mental health problem.