Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I recently found out my husband has been cheating on me for the past 4 months. He had been staying out late and blaming it on work. Then he would say I was being too much with questioning him. Then he finally came clean on the day we announced we are expecting a boy. I was so devastated but I told him right there and then I would forgive him but it had to be over with her. He left that night only to return the next morning that he was sorry and wanted to fix everything. Side note my husband has also been a drug addict for about 4 years. He has done all drugs you can think of but he is mainly addicted to abusing pills. I have tried to get him help serval times but he get angry or make excuses. I just had to realize he would only get better if he really wants too. So I tried to control giving him his pills which was very stressful and watch how he spent money. Anyway since he told me about his affair he has been pulling money out of our account like crazy and not having any of it to show for the next day. Well he stayed for 5 days after he said he was sorry and wanted to fix us. He went back to his mistress and back to doing more drugs. He left for a month and was constantly talking crap to me and showing up at our house to see me and talk more crap. I could tell he was high and was not in right mind. I finally accepted all he was doing and had to look out for our two girls and take care of myself due to my pregnancy. I left him alone and only let him visit our girls at his parents due to not knowing what drugs he is on and of course not letting him take my girls around another woman. I let my girls call him whenever and him whenever he wanted but he doesn't make much effort. One night he showed up crying and having a mental meltdown of course I feel Brad and just listen and hug him. He tells me he wants nothing to do with the woman he has been having affair with. Side note after he told me he was cheated they moved in together at he grandmothers vacant house since her passing with her 16month old baby and she has two other kids as well that she doesn't have custody of for what reason I do not know. After he cried and begged me how to help him get rid of her he turned around and keep seeing the woman and made it sound like everything he cried to me about was all what I wanted. So then I blocked him. Which drove him crazy. He then showed up at our house and our girls finally saw him. They were excited to see him and so I stayed calm and let him visit with them. But then he worked his stupid charm on me and my fragile state fell for him. He asked me if he can come home and that he told the other woman to move her shit out of his grandmas house and that he was coming home. Of course I let him move his stuff in and he slept for two days straight because of his withdrawals and I let him and took care of him. We were like back to our ways only to come the fifth day he took money out and got his drugs and started talking crap and left me and my girls again only to find out he was back with the same woman.... I was totally broken and felt so used... I didn't understand how he could just do that... I know drugs okay a big role but still I am so torn up about this. I went to my lawyer that I had already consulted with and file for divorce. But due to my pregnancy it will be put off till I have our son but mean time I can get spousal and child support. Filing made me feel so sick and scared because I still love my husband so much but I couldn't think with my heart I had to think with my head. I had to think of safety and financial state for my girls. I have blocked all communication with him for now due to how he just brutally hurt me. But I still let our daughters call him on his iPad but he still doesn't make the effort he can visit them anytime but just at his parents and his parents totally agree on my terms. He doesn't know I filed yet. He will be served in the next 2 weeks...
-
Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
-
I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
He is a grown man. He will figure out his life. It is not your "job" to assist him in his cheating and drug abuse.
Make sure to protect yourself financially. You need your own bank account. You need to ask your lawyer about this joint bank account you have with him, how he is taking money out of it for drugs.
You can do this. You can be strong. Good luck. Let us know how you are.
So, I do agree with you that blocking communication and considering safety and the financial security of you and the girls is a priority thinking. Thing is, to keep making single decisions about certain things and try not to tempt yourself into remaking those decisions perpetually. Push the bad away once and have done with it. Your health is very important. And I do hope for the best of it!
Take great care and do take time to teach your children to make wise decisions as well, especially considering that their own lives have value, and dealing with dad's issues is challenging for them as well. I am so sorry about this. Yet I welcome you to this support site. I pray that this DS support community is a blessing for you.
Visitations got his parents house when ever he like but fails there as well. When he is high and out of his mind I just cannot have my girls with him like that. He claims he has seen the devil when he has mental meltdowns which I wouldn’t want my girls to be around if he were to have that type of mental down and his parents agree. I want my girls to be able to find a man one day that give them the world and shows them respect not what their father and I have been doing. His addiction is out of control and he doesn’t believe he needs help. His parents have even offered to pay for all his expenses to rehab and our expenses for him to get the health he needs. But his mother has came to the conclusion that her son will not get help unless he wants it. I have mentioned all this to my lawyer and he states that I would be seen as wreck less if I left my girls alone with their father because I know of his addiction. It’s been very hard to deal with my emotions and take care of my girls but I know I have to be strong for all of us and my soon to be born son.
Bless you, today!
So I stopped talking to my husband for about a week after he left us again. But I didn’t reach out. Unfortunately the day I unblock him the sheriff shows up at his memaws house to serve him and of course the addict he is he is freaking out and hides from the sheriff and doesn’t answer the door. He calls me and his parents asking why the sheriff would be there. I told him you are getting served and he just doesn’t understand why it has to be a sheriff doing it. Like out of all that, that is what he is worried about. Later on at 3am he calls me and is begging me to call off the subpoena that he will leave his check in our account and that he won’t spend all the money. I told him it is too late and I cannot trust you no more. Then he gets angry and threatens he won’t answer the door and he will just hide from being served. I said do whatever you think you can. He says he doesn’t understand why he has to help pay our bills or help with the kids. He says I won’t get nothing and I said well just get served if that’s what you think. The next day he calls me again and and ask how I am doing and trying to apologize for everything for all he is done and I say okay. I know it is only because he doesn’t want me to continue with filing. Well he calls me again only to talk crap about how he doesn’t have his daughters like he wants and that I making up rules that he has to follow and isn’t fair. I told him I’d be happy to let these girls go with you and stay with you only if you were sober. Of course he ignores that and continues to talk crap. He then says he regrets us ever meeting and marrying me and that I’m ugly, and a horrible mother. I just hang up. I get upset because he hurt my feelings and I’m already broken from how he has cheated and betrayed me over and over. I tell him just to call the girls ipad and to not call me if all he is gonna do is degrade me. Literally the next day he calls me and ask if he can borrow money for cigarettes. Like the night before conversation never happened. I just say “don’t have cash on me” he gets annoyed with me and hangs up. Then he shows up at our house and says please can I just have money for cigarettes then I give him $10 and say I don’t have anymore please don’t ask me again. Then he calls saying thanks and then tries to talk to me normal. He ask me if he can use our daughters tv at his grandmas house and I said that is fine because we don’t use it and it is a small tv. He comes for it later on and has the nerve to ask for $20 so he can buy weed. I said hell no. Gets mad and leaves. I find out later his mother said he asked for $20 from them for gas and of course they give it to him. Later on he calls me and says can I borrow your card to get some food. I said no. I finally get annoyed and say you pulled $1600 out of the account a week ago how do you have no money and he just stays quiet. He has no bills at all. I’m like supporting your drug habit and your mistress and her kids must be expensive but yet you don’t think you should help your actual family... like what the hell?! So the Keeps begging and I said I’ll buy you something from McDonald’s and he immediately says “no I can’t go back with one meal” I go are you fucking serious you want me to buy your whore food... I got so angry I started to cry. I said I knew you were just using me again... but I have damn heart to actually feel sorry that you don’t have food but to pay for the bitch you cheated on me with... I was enraged and I hung up. He kept trying to say sorry. I said this is why your mood changed because you needed something... Ugh! I am angry with myself for giving him $10 and for actually wanting to give him food. Why do I still give in! I know I still love him but why can’t I wake up from how he treats me... how can he be so careless and have the nerve to be the way he is... Any thoughts..?
It’s been almost a month since I last left an update. My husband started reaching out to me about two weeks ago. He was calling me everyday just randomly talking about anything which I just listened. We would talk from 15-50mins everyday. But I wonder why he wasn’t talking to the girl he left me for since they are still together till this moment. He told me he wish I never filed for divorce and that he wanted to come home but he didn’t because he didn’t trust me. I was like you don’t trust me but your the one with an addiction and having an affair... He asked if he can come over to see our girls and kiss them good night. Of course I let him. I prepared myself for anything he try or say to me. He began to cry because he said this was hard on him and then he came towards me and hugged me and of course I cried and then he left. Anyway, due to the oilfield not doing so well my husband called me early the in the morning to tell me he got laid off and of course I’m just like “I’m sorry this happened all you can do is look for a new job and file for unemployment. Don’t get down and just move forward” Two days later he became a totally different person towards me I’m not sure if it was drugs or pills that turned him into an ass again. He started asking for things in our house which I’m not using so I said sure you can take but then I started getting annoyed because he would say “we need this and we need that” I realize he was talking about the other girl he cheated on me with. My husband was calling me over and over about how to do this or that and we need this. So I said please leave me alone you have a new girlfriend ask her to help you. My husband moved his check from our account and left me and our kids with nothing to pay bills or even help. I didn’t stress because that’s what I got a lawyer for. We had our temp hearing and I had to explain everything to him having an affair to his drug addition. It was hard for me because I still love my husband but I know someday that will fade and I will have healed and moved on. Meanwhile I gotten down a bit. My friend showed me the girl he is having an affair put they are in a relationship on Facebook. She didn’t tag him in it but I know it’s him. The she on Instagram put his initials with hearts around it saying he is her world. He is currently living with her and her parents at her house along with her kids well one I know of because for some reason she doesn’t have custody of her oldest two. I just hate how everything has happened and maybe it is my pregnancy hormones... but just needed to vent and get any advise to how to feel or how to think...