I know it's easy to say but somehow even its not now but eventually you will realize that you need to value yourself. If he doesn't value you or the times that you're still together please value yourself. Maybe he's been blinded by someone. No one can stop you for loving him but this time love yourself first. I feel for you because I've been there.

Hugs, my friend. It is because he has left the marriage way before he even filed for divorce. There has to be something/someone else waiting in the wings. Go ahead and have a good cry. But remember to be gentle with yourself. Do not agree to anything he wants to do or say. You need to look after yourself. It will be a long, hard road to travel on.

They are called checked out spouses. They were
Emotionally, mentally and morally detached from
you and the marriage.

They had already made up their Mind long before
leaving and just waited for the right someone and
the right timing then they were Gone.

You are basically old news and they are into the
New relationship. Most of the time expect nothing
good/healthy/friendly from them. You got your
Answers already, he filed. That was the only thing
My ex would say to me, did the papers come yet?

I am so sorry for all your hurt and pain, my ex was
Already into his new woman friend. His concern Was
with her and their new life not me except about The
financials. He was very concerned there, HUGS

That's how he is he wants to move one and work on his new life and he is concerned with what he is going to have to pay financially he is living in another town 4 hours away with a woman and he is more concern about her than me my friends sent her a message because before he left she wanted to be my friend ha ha my friend told her that you shouldn't be helping destroy a marriage and m6 sync got mad and said not to pick on poor her it isn't fair but yet it's okay to break my heart and not give a damn

Hugs, my friend. Now you should start looking after yourself. Never mind him/his current flavour of the month or demands. Be ready to stand firm. He will say and do anything to portray himself as a victim. My ex did the same. Remember if they can do it with you, they can do it to you. There is no trust, honour or respect in a relationship like that. You can sleep at night with a clear conscience, but they never will. There will always be that doubt to where they are, what they are doing. Even if they are in the same room, that doubt will always be there.

Your journey is now all about you, he is just a player
in your story. Take care of yourself Financially, mentally
and emotionally. Do Not expect any good will from him.

My ex Would run when he saw me from guilt and Shame
it still did not stop him though from his path he had chosen
which was to divorce me and to move on. That comes with
financial Consequences, HUGS

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're not alone, my ex did the exact same thing after 18 years. Divorce, rush it through, move in with new boyfriend, no emotions whatsoever. NONE! Almost 2 decades thrown out like yesterday's paper.

I'm still hurt because I still love her. 18 years with a person that I gave myself fully to. I wish I could turn off those emotions as they do me no good.

I wish my ex would show signs of guilt, remorse or shame. It would let me know there's still a human being inside that robot shell. Talking to her she tries to make it out like everything was my fault. Seems like she's created a narrative in her head to justify her actions so she doesn't need to feel bad. She thinks she did nothing wrong, ever. Nothing I say changes that, and it wouldn't make a difference if it did.

Crying is a healthy reaction, you need to do it. Go out and get some help in the form of therapy and/or group counseling. Find people who will listen to you and be there for you. Find people who will just let you cry, scream & vent without trying to fix things. Continue letting your feelings out on this board.

Go out and start doing stuff for you. Go to a movie. Eat healthier. Work out. Join a group activity. It doesn't matter, do stuff that has you as the beneficiary recipient. You're worth it. Don't lost track of that and reinforce that thought whenever you can.

Allow yourself to have bad days. You'll have them. A lot of them. It's OK, just survive the day, or hour, or 15 minutes and move on to the next. You'll come through this.

@lost, you are just now seeing the BF situation
So it is all new to you and it is going to be a roller
Coaster ride for awhile to come.

The rejection, betrayal are hard to bear and you
Have children that are highly effected. Keep it as
Close to no contact as possible. No personal talk
What so ever only about the children or matter at
Hand.

My ex and i did not have any productive talks After
he left and probably never will. He has no remorse
Or concern for me.

I feel for all of you that have under age children in
the mix of divorce And even post divorce if its not
going well in co parenting department.

I do have many blessings myself even though It still
Hurts a lot. HUGS

If this is the right post and you are young, you will find new love. That doesn't help your hurt I know. Nothing will. I know. I really don't know how to use this website well but I'm going through 3 rd divorce. It is heart wrenching. I realize people think I'm an idiot. If he's so nasty to you either try to rebuild relationship or don't fight it.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this a third time l. I'm kind of in that situation my husband had left two time before when we were first married. We were yiung and so i understood a little then It took a long time to rebuild trust with again but we got through it now eight years later this is just so shocking I never thought I would be going through this pain again.. i don't think your an idiot I feel your pain it takes two to fight for a marriage and I'm the only one who would fight for it thanks for the support hugs

Make no sense to me either
I was married for thirteen years. Then she decides she never loved me.

I can relate

Hello from
New zealand

My wife did the same after 24 years..said "it never felt right"..just bullshit justification in their heads to lie cheat and dump you and move on to the next victim. Let them go, you deserve better. If someone can do that to you they shouldn't matter, life's too short to spend too much time crying over a person with no morals. Take some time to heal but then move forward without them. Let them go screw someone else up because they will.