Hello everyone I haven't posted on here in a while but I had some general thoughts and I wanted to share them. For anyone who I haven't gotten a chance to speak with I will write a brief summary of how I ended up on this site.

I am 28 years old I was engaged after college to a person I believed at the time to truly be the love of my life. Sadly he cheated on me the entire time we were engaged and our wedding was called off a month before the wedding. After dealing with an enormous amount of pain I met a man who I fell in love with and this situation didn't end with cheating but the mental/verbal abuse along with the toxic nature of how things ended almost made me stop believing in love for a while.

My parents were both born in india, although my sister and I were raised here most of my cousins and relatives including my parents have had an arranged marriage. This is very common in my culture. My parents knew each other for 2 days before they were engaged but they have been married for over 30 years. I see how their love has grown over the years the level of commitment they both have through all of the life challenges. My parents are very open minded and have never ever forced this concept on us. In fact my sister is marrying a man who is Italian later this year and my family couldn't be happier. I have done a lot of research and I have learned that over 50% of marriages end in divorce but only 2% of arranged marriages do. I was really intrigued by why. Maybe it is because the importance of marriage is hammered down from a young age. Infidelity is considered the biggest sin not only against yourself but your family as well. It is something that people will cut you out of their family for. Working through all problems is something that is just expected in a marriage like this. Being divorce brings on extreme shame to the entire family so in a way people seem to try harder or at least it appears so.

I always wanted to hold out for "real love" but what if somehow this idea is what will work better ? In both my relationships I went after the guy who gave me that fireworks feeling. The intense passion and excitement is what started off initially in both of those relationships. Maybe learning to grow and love is something that isn't so bad. I am just thinking out loud but recently at a family get together my aunts asked me if I would be interested in something like this and that if I am they have plenty of possible options and they believe it would be a very good thing.

Have I been so hurt in the past that I am trying to avoid ever being hurt again? Is waiting to find someone who truly connect with worth holding out for? I will mention that being indian and 28 and not married is considered strange also. I cant tell you how many times I have gotten comments from friends of family members on what is "wrong with me" . It is a cultural thing I try not to get offended by it. I look at my cousins, many friends and of course my parents who all had arranged marriages and who are all very happy and I am starting to wonder if this could actually really work for me...despite growing up here and having those ideas of some fairytale romance happy ending in my head.

Thanks for listening ! (reading)