Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I pose this question to the group because I see and read a lot of posting about dating and relationships after a divorce or separation.I could be wrong in my assessment but I get the feeling that a lot of relationships post separation/divorce end badly and if I had to give my opinion on this here what I come up with(Again this is just an opinion...not based on fact)
What our minds and hearts remember about love and relationships often get blurred over time, we start to forget all the bad times we had and only remember the good parts the, "high points" We are predisposition to accept love and that love is good and fulfilling and it can never hurt....well sorry in my humble opinion it really does hurt and it really can be destructive to an individual and all the work you put in to feel better was in Vain.
I am not advocating that we do not enter into an emotional relationship, I simple say you need to do it when you are emotionally fit. I challenge any one reading this, if you have been in a marriage or a long term relationship and you think you are ready to have a relationship I ask this question. Are you doing it to feel a void, to regain what you lost and to have the emotional comfort you once had and are you fooling yourself into believing you are ready?
I believe a health relationship is about give and take, I feel right now using myself as an example I'm taking a lot more than I can give, so many people have said to me, "you need to make yourself better first" I take that as if I'm in my infancy of growth and just like an infant I will need to take in much more than I am capable to give and that in time I will be able meet some at an emotional level as an equal.
The last point I wanted to make is that if I were to enter a relationship now given my emotional condition and the relationship failed I would be devastated and all the work I have done to better myself; and to take a step backwards right now I honestly can say I don't think I could have the strength to rebuild again.
I truly hope everyone on this site someday finds love and happiness on equal terms.
What our minds and hearts remember about love and relationships often get blurred over time, we start to forget all the bad times we had and only remember the good parts the, "high points" We are predisposition to accept love and that love is good and fulfilling and it can never hurt....well sorry in my humble opinion it really does hurt and it really can be destructive to an individual and all the work you put in to feel better was in Vain.
I am not advocating that we do not enter into an emotional relationship, I simple say you need to do it when you are emotionally fit. I challenge any one reading this, if you have been in a marriage or a long term relationship and you think you are ready to have a relationship I ask this question. Are you doing it to feel a void, to regain what you lost and to have the emotional comfort you once had and are you fooling yourself into believing you are ready?
I believe a health relationship is about give and take, I feel right now using myself as an example I'm taking a lot more than I can give, so many people have said to me, "you need to make yourself better first" I take that as if I'm in my infancy of growth and just like an infant I will need to take in much more than I am capable to give and that in time I will be able meet some at an emotional level as an equal.
The last point I wanted to make is that if I were to enter a relationship now given my emotional condition and the relationship failed I would be devastated and all the work I have done to better myself; and to take a step backwards right now I honestly can say I don't think I could have the strength to rebuild again.
I truly hope everyone on this site someday finds love and happiness on equal terms.
On the same line of thinking, I think people shouldn't date or have sex casually unless they are willing to deal with falling in love and having another relationship...or the person you're with falling in love and wanting a relationship with you.
When I dated casually I didn't want any emotional or physical intimacy, because I just wanted someone to go out and do things with, and so I could feel like "I'l show HIM". In the end I ticked off a number of guys, and hurt one emotionally. Not something I felt good about.
Tread carefully all you people who just want some fun, no strings attached. Hearts are delicate things.
After being hurt so badly, I have nothing to offer anyone. I can barely offer enough to myself, and I have my son and daughter that come first. Maybe when my son is older and more independent, I can think about giving of myself. That'll be a few years down the road.
I truly pity her. :(
if you take your time to feel the void, and are patient enough for it to ever so slowly fill itself up over time, you come to realize just how beautiful things are
desperation isn;t pretty
neither is need