Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Anyone else have one of these?? I have been Divorced for almost 2 years. My ex is remarried (to the woman he had an affair with while we were married). He moved to her home town about an hour from me and has to drive back and forth to pick up and drop off the kids and bring them to their activities (which are here) when he has them...which is every other weekend. I have full custody. This is one of the things that he complains about frequently. Like I told him to move.
In 2 years the angry outbursts seem to come on phases. The last one was when I recently got engaged. It started the next week and lasted for a few weeks. I only call him if I need to tell him something about the kids. He calls to complain and gets nasty at times. I don't put up with it. I say what I want to say, say goodbye, and hang up the phone. He just hangs up the phone. He won't say my name. He communicated things in writing to me and won't put my name on the letters. He ends every phone conversation with a hang-up. He threatens to take me back to court even though I was was fair in the Divorce and give him open access to the kids. He doesn't want custody. He would never get custody. I tell him to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.
He does silly things like refuse to talk about what he is getting the kids for Christmas (it's none of my business) so that I can make sure we don't duplicate things that don't need to be duplicated. When he gets the kids gifts he won't let them bring them home..even if they ask to.
I was hoping that time would make things better but they only seem to get worse. Our Divorce was his idea. He met someone else. I didn't kick or scream. A relatively simple Divorce. I have moved on and been happy with the kids..and now with someone else. He still wants to fight, about anything, every chance he gets.
It's interesting to me that just one month before he got married he told me that it's not fair that I get to have a life..and he doesn't. I have a great life...no thanks to him. His is what he made it to be. We are all responsible for our own happiness. I guess he doesn't know that.
I am sure he is not the only one who made his bed and is not very happy lying in it. I'm just tired of him trying to take it out on me. I have years of this ahead of me. I'm getting married in 3 months ..but I might need to stay on this site for the next 10 years.
If you are new to this and reading this post...life does go on. Minus your ex..it can go on to bigger and better places. Hang in there :)
In 2 years the angry outbursts seem to come on phases. The last one was when I recently got engaged. It started the next week and lasted for a few weeks. I only call him if I need to tell him something about the kids. He calls to complain and gets nasty at times. I don't put up with it. I say what I want to say, say goodbye, and hang up the phone. He just hangs up the phone. He won't say my name. He communicated things in writing to me and won't put my name on the letters. He ends every phone conversation with a hang-up. He threatens to take me back to court even though I was was fair in the Divorce and give him open access to the kids. He doesn't want custody. He would never get custody. I tell him to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.
He does silly things like refuse to talk about what he is getting the kids for Christmas (it's none of my business) so that I can make sure we don't duplicate things that don't need to be duplicated. When he gets the kids gifts he won't let them bring them home..even if they ask to.
I was hoping that time would make things better but they only seem to get worse. Our Divorce was his idea. He met someone else. I didn't kick or scream. A relatively simple Divorce. I have moved on and been happy with the kids..and now with someone else. He still wants to fight, about anything, every chance he gets.
It's interesting to me that just one month before he got married he told me that it's not fair that I get to have a life..and he doesn't. I have a great life...no thanks to him. His is what he made it to be. We are all responsible for our own happiness. I guess he doesn't know that.
I am sure he is not the only one who made his bed and is not very happy lying in it. I'm just tired of him trying to take it out on me. I have years of this ahead of me. I'm getting married in 3 months ..but I might need to stay on this site for the next 10 years.
If you are new to this and reading this post...life does go on. Minus your ex..it can go on to bigger and better places. Hang in there :)
No court will grant you a restraining order to protect you against your ex being a dick.
I would so be first in line for my RO!
I don't have to deal with him on a daily basis because of the restraining order which is a blessing. All I can offer is as to avoid him as much as possible. Sometimes as woman we are curious to know what is happening in their lives and take the call or sometimes just want to make that contact and hope that it will be at least friendly and maybe just maybe in our minds we think he is going to feel bad for what he has done to to everyones lives and apologize...guess what by the sound of it he is a narcissitic as mine and you'll probably never hear those words. Try and smile when he is throwing a fit and remember that in his narcissitic world you are beating him at his own game...it's a sad game (one you didn't choose) but if it's got to be played...you now win...good luck....keep your cool and smile...revenge is sweet.....
I just want this to end, I cannot go on. You are lucky to have full custody, and find a man, do not care about his anger, it is not worthed.
I think they would like to feel that we are just going to lay down and die without them. Mine wanted his freedom-to pursue sex, drugs and rock and roll-literally. Well, he is currently living over a garage with half the people in the building where he works knowing he is a schmuck that looks at porn, goes to strip clubs, has a drug problem and is a dry alcoholic. What a fun place to be. Like you said, they made their bed, now I guess they lie in it.
Their immaturity is the reason they are in a not so happy place-so now there angry about it. I am not in a perfect place, but I am definitely in a better place than he is. Congratulations on your engagement!