Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Anyone else have one of these?? I have been Divorced for almost 2 years. My ex is remarried (to the woman he had an affair with while we were married). He moved to her home town about an hour from me and has to drive back and forth to pick up and drop off the kids and bring them to their activities (which are here) when he has them...which is every other weekend. I have full custody. This is one of the things that he complains about frequently. Like I told him to move.
In 2 years the angry outbursts seem to come on phases. The last one was when I recently got engaged. It started the next week and lasted for a few weeks. I only call him if I need to tell him something about the kids. He calls to complain and gets nasty at times. I don't put up with it. I say what I want to say, say goodbye, and hang up the phone. He just hangs up the phone. He won't say my name. He communicated things in writing to me and won't put my name on the letters. He ends every phone conversation with a hang-up. He threatens to take me back to court even though I was was fair in the Divorce and give him open access to the kids. He doesn't want custody. He would never get custody. I tell him to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.
He does silly things like refuse to talk about what he is getting the kids for Christmas (it's none of my business) so that I can make sure we don't duplicate things that don't need to be duplicated. When he gets the kids gifts he won't let them bring them home..even if they ask to.
I was hoping that time would make things better but they only seem to get worse. Our Divorce was his idea. He met someone else. I didn't kick or scream. A relatively simple Divorce. I have moved on and been happy with the kids..and now with someone else. He still wants to fight, about anything, every chance he gets.
It's interesting to me that just one month before he got married he told me that it's not fair that I get to have a life..and he doesn't. I have a great life...no thanks to him. His is what he made it to be. We are all responsible for our own happiness. I guess he doesn't know that.
I am sure he is not the only one who made his bed and is not very happy lying in it. I'm just tired of him trying to take it out on me. I have years of this ahead of me. I'm getting married in 3 months ..but I might need to stay on this site for the next 10 years.
If you are new to this and reading this post...life does go on. Minus your ex..it can go on to bigger and better places. Hang in there :)
In 2 years the angry outbursts seem to come on phases. The last one was when I recently got engaged. It started the next week and lasted for a few weeks. I only call him if I need to tell him something about the kids. He calls to complain and gets nasty at times. I don't put up with it. I say what I want to say, say goodbye, and hang up the phone. He just hangs up the phone. He won't say my name. He communicated things in writing to me and won't put my name on the letters. He ends every phone conversation with a hang-up. He threatens to take me back to court even though I was was fair in the Divorce and give him open access to the kids. He doesn't want custody. He would never get custody. I tell him to do whatever he thinks he needs to do.
He does silly things like refuse to talk about what he is getting the kids for Christmas (it's none of my business) so that I can make sure we don't duplicate things that don't need to be duplicated. When he gets the kids gifts he won't let them bring them home..even if they ask to.
I was hoping that time would make things better but they only seem to get worse. Our Divorce was his idea. He met someone else. I didn't kick or scream. A relatively simple Divorce. I have moved on and been happy with the kids..and now with someone else. He still wants to fight, about anything, every chance he gets.
It's interesting to me that just one month before he got married he told me that it's not fair that I get to have a life..and he doesn't. I have a great life...no thanks to him. His is what he made it to be. We are all responsible for our own happiness. I guess he doesn't know that.
I am sure he is not the only one who made his bed and is not very happy lying in it. I'm just tired of him trying to take it out on me. I have years of this ahead of me. I'm getting married in 3 months ..but I might need to stay on this site for the next 10 years.
If you are new to this and reading this post...life does go on. Minus your ex..it can go on to bigger and better places. Hang in there :)
Yep I can identify my life is much happier now my A hole has gone but he's mad at me for finding happiness with someone else.
I have been divorced for two years and my ex is also still very angry, though I was the leaver because of his abusive asshole-ishness.
Don't let him get to you, don't have conversations you don't want to have. And remember that the best revenge is living a good life, sounds like you are doing that!
You are a wonderful woman and your ex sounds jealous of your happiness.
He is the one who chose to leave and like you said he is responsible for his own happiness.
I have no idea what his problem is. He wanted the divorce...I am going along with it. I think he is angry because he will have to give me some of his precious money, but too bad!
How do you deal with this? I mean, he calls you and is mean to you? Do you just hang up? How do you keep yourself from going nuts? Or is it just that you are so over him that it doesn't really bother you anymore?
I'm thinking my situation isn't going to get any better. I remain civil to my stbx, keep all correspondence matter of fact, etc, and yet he is still mean and nasty. I guess it's my fault too, that his life is the way it is!!
Yes, it is your fault. Don't you remember that you are the one that made him have an affair and leave his family? C'mon,,, of course it is not your fault, but he cannot blame himself, then he would have to take responsibility.
You keep up the good work you are doing and congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Big Hugs!
Sounds like he is not happy where he is.. regrets... too bad for him.
Make an order that says all you can talk about is your children. It would be the best 60$ you ever spend. You can do it by yourself at your local county courthouse. You can even set the times he calls.
I don't understand this. All I wanted was my ex-wife to be happy. I was making her miserable, while I was ill. She is getting happy now and so am I.
It sure sounds like buyer's remorse. He thought he was getting an upgrade with the OW and ended up getting a lemon compared to you. After all, he's married to a cheater and your honor is still completely intact. You and Alex will live happily ever after and your ex will always be wondering when his wife is going to cheat next.