You don't get an opinion or say with what you wife does, that point is moot. As far as the kids go, you go to Court and go through custody orders to stipulate who and what they can and can't spend time with or in the presence of and at what point in time.

To add to what OlderCPer said, yes get things written up, but, ex's often don't give a crap what the court says. So, if she has the kids around a BF regardless of what court orders say, slam her ass back to court. To do that, document everything you know about how often he's there when your kids are. Don't grill your kids, but it's pretty easy to pick up this info from them just by casual conversation over what they did over the week or weekend. Drive by at night to see if his car is in the drive. Not to be a stalker, but you do need to do what you feel is in your children's best interest. That's the goal of family court too - do what's in the children's best interest. If you have to, keep taking her back to court. It is pretty disgusting to put the kids through meeting a BF, 3 months after a split. Who even knows if she'll still be with this guy in 3 more months. Maybe another guy. Get those orders now, and enforce them as you need to.

Go do some reading at mensdivorce.com, especially in the forums. There you will find excellent advice for navigating a divorce from a man's perspective. #1 priority is getting 50/50 custody. No, you can't control who she introduces your kids to. But you can be the stable, sane parent and do your best to mitigate any damage she does.

As I mentioned recently on another thread, sometimes people seem to go batshit crazy when they hit "middle age". My ex-wife was one, and your soon-to-be-ex seems to be another. I'm sorry this happened to you. It was a horrible time in my life, but I am now 2.5 years post-divorce and life is rather good! Hang in there.

The thought of another man being with your wife.... yeah, I had that pain too. She's not your wife anymore though (yeah I know it's not official yet). She has changed. She is not the person you married. Do your best to let her go. She did not deserve you. And three months? I'm sorry to say but she's been seeing this guy longer than that! Get angry and fired up about being shat upon!! Go read that forum and get your game plan going. Divorce is happening. It's utterly brutal but you can come through this and keep your relationship with your kids, keep your sanity, and even ultimately find a better life. But it takes work.

Good luck, best wishes.

I understand the thought of another man holding your ex the way you used to. But there is not a lot we can do. I am still married but she is going to a HS reunion and I know the guy she is now in love with is going to be there. I am just going to concentrate on the time I get with my kids and try not to let it destroy me too much.

Thanks for the replies from everyone. I am trying to focus on taking care of myself and kids. Also trying not to think about what she is doing. Its rough though and hope those better days people talk about happen sooner than later.