I don't know your whole situation but just based upon what you posted here I say..stick to your guns and stand your ground! Don't let him back into your home or your heart for that matter just to hurt you all over again...and that "pity me tactic" sounds all too familiar to me! Just ignore it. He's trying to play on your sympathy! I feel for that too many times and my STBX's lies about "changing his cheating ways" . Hang in there, keep your distance, in fact I would outright tell him not to come to your job either for that matter. Too easy for you to be caught off guard that way. ***HUGS***

Hi Need: You're doing good. He knows from the past that doing all this broke you down before and got him back into your home and your life. So he's doing the same things again.

It's probably time to change your tactics. Please get MAD. Get REALLY MAD and when he comes into work tell him to get his scummy self out of your work or you'll call the police and have him removed.

He is depending on you to be weak and to continue allowing him to do this stuff.

When I was divorcing, I immediately changed my home phone so he couldn't get through to me and I made sure the phone company didn't state a message that it was changed and instead it would just ring without an answer.

When he finally figured it out, he started calling into work. One day I just yelled at him with all my might that who did he think he was and he was never to call me again or bother me and he hung up. I called my attorney to made sure he didn't bother me again, but I never got another call. He wasn't used to me being super strong with him.

Be super strong with him. He sees weak as an opportunity for him to get back together with you. You can do it.

Thankyou as time goes by. I did yell at him when he came into my shop and he did leave but returned shorty afterwards. He came as i was leaving as he knew i would be walking to my car.to go home. He was begging me to let him come home. I did tell him a firm no and to go away . He looked awful and has lost weight but he did this , didnt he? not me. I feel bad and cant understand why. He is out tonight drinking with his brother. i am home , i could never go out to enjoy myself when im feeling low , yet he says he is missing me and is able to function normal

He's casting the guilt trip bait and you are nibbling. You need to quit nibbling, don't even think about biting the bait and swim away.

I don't think going out to drink with his brother is functioning normal. He is drowning his sorrow and numbing himself in booze. Trust someone with experience in this area (me)--he will not have a good time going out. He is just pretending he is.

My ex husband would come to my job. Thankfully the people i worked with helped me get rid of him for me. Its called harassment. You feel like crap because hes constantly trying to get to you and then hes going out and drinking as an outlet.

I had no sleep last night. Everything going through my head. He was outside my house this morning but I didn't let him in. This is definitely harassment as he did this last time we split up and I took him back. I am a bit stronger than last time but don't want to see him because that makes me weak.

You are being so strong - in the face of such pain. I know it cannot be easy. You are right - you need to be putting yourself first and moving forward - and you are doing just that.
He can cry all he wants to. Hasn't he left you alone crying enough to last a lifetime? To fill an ocean with tears? What an asshat he is. If he really had any respect or compassion for you at all as a person he would just leave it be and let you heal. He has put you though enough - but instead, he is being selfish and continuing to open up the wounds. Again - asshat. Douche bag. Whatever.

Its hard because you have character - a lot of it - and because you really loved him.

Keep doing what you are doing - we are all behind you/beside you or wherever you need us to be 110%.

xoxo

It's time to carry one of the pepper sprays that strongly defuses with you (and you have told him to leave you alone) and when he approaches you when you leave work and walk to your car, spray him in the face with pepper spray and walk away and don't stay to help him, or say anything to him. You can't let someone FORCE THEMSELVES on you AND THAT IS A STALKER. He has become a stalker in your life and that's so wrong.

Also, go to the police report and report him now because he is showing up at your work and won't leave you alone. It's time FOR YOU to step it up.

I do agree with you to do all that. I feel cruel in doing it but I know I have no other option. He told me if he sees me with anyone else he will f...ing kill them. He would give them a beating I know. That's why I know I will never be with anyone in the future. I would never put anyone in that danger. I feel I never want anyone else anyway.

I have just come home after visiting family and guess what? he followed me to see where i was going . One of my family saw his car driving up their street . He will deny it though as he is blameless.

He knows it bothers you. Me, I would report him to the police and take all steps with the police to get him stopped. If that didn't stop him, then the next time he followed me, I would walk up to his car with a sledge hammer hidden behind me and hit the front windshield with him in the car. It would probably give him an idea that I was serious about him leaving me alone and that I wasn't scared of him.

I have today made an appointment to see a councillor. My appointment is on Wednesday. I am in work right now and again he came here today on his dinner break. I've had enough. I am going to take whatever steps now to stop him bothering me. It will be hard for me and I don't want to hurt him. But he has hurt me . Please keep me strong

Yeah. What he's doing is stalking. Apparently he's not very good at it. You need to call the authorities, and instead of wimping out and not pressing charges, press charges.

You've already taught him that he can get away with this shit. You need to un-teach him.

You said you've been here before, and you had to report him to the police, so you know he won't stop because he didn't before. He's escalating, and you need to put a stop to it before he does something drastic to get your attention. He has crossed the line from hurt husband to creepy stalker maniac. Stop him!