Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi,
I am new here. Recently, there was an incident where my husband and I were arguing and he started ignoring me after lashing out at me several times thay day. It hurt my feelings and I poured a cup of water on his head. (A ridiculous thing to do) He got on top of me, choked me while I struggled, picked up the cup and smashed me in the face. He had had about 5 drinks. I called the police. He was not sorry and my face was bloodied as he broke a gash in my face. He was arrested and given a stay away order.
After this happened, I was in a state of trauma and just shock really. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to lose my financial situation (I have 2 young kids), I testified in his favor to help him get charges dropped.
Now I am trying to figure out what to do regarding custody. He has a temper and a moderate drinking problem but has never hurt our kids. This was the first time he actually hit me although he had lashed out at me verbally, restrained me, and intimidated me by cornering me and yelling so I couldn't escape. He wants shared custody. To his credit, hes been a good father and quite competent but sometimes gets mad when the kids display strong emotions.
How can I do the best thing for my kids? They love their father of course and would be devastated not to see him. Should I be fearful he will hurt them? My friends and family think I should allow him custody but they havent seen him the way I have.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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You need an attorney. To work out legal custody arrangements. When the custody is legal, your ex can't blow up about it, or try to change the terms of the custody.
However, if you just make it your word against his, or some other verbal custody, then you know he will break the custody rules, and you will be dealing with this every time he takes the kids, or wants to take the kids, etc. Best to have it all written out legally ahead of time.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It is a lot to deal with. One trip to the attorney will keep you, and your kids, safe from him. I wish you the best of luck.
The attorney can also help you figure that out.
Yes, a cell phone for emergencies for the 8 year old would be appropriate.
I am hoping the best for you and that this custody arrangement will help you to feel a bit better during all this chaos, and that you also remember to take good care of yourself also!
Under certain circumstances courts can force documented drunks to have alcohol testing in their vehicle to ensure sober driving, I think this varies state by state.
I would either have an intermediary or meet in public to exchange custody. Please do not let him in to or near your house.
The best thing to do to protect yourself and your kids is to document unsafe or alcoholic behavior. So threatening texts should be photographed or stored. Keeping a log or a word document of any of these behaviors and things your kids say about him can also later become very relevant should you need to amend custody. This should include times, dates, and context.
I have a running tally on my phone of saved text messages of drunken outbursts, drunken excuses for being late or not showing up to pick up her child, or her later admitting to unsafe behavior.
I haven’t had to use any of this documentation so far. Fortunately for me my ex enjoys the single life so much, she could give two shits about spending time with her kid, which is fine with me.