Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My husband and I have been having marital issues. I started seeing a counselor about a year ago, and she has told me in some of our fights he has been emotionally abusive toward me. She also thinks he has OCD and ADHD. I have asked him to go with me to counseling multiple times but he refuses. He says he doesn't need anyone else to fix problems. I have tried making changes myself in the relationship and it is working somewhat, but it is exhausting and super frustrating as I have been putting way more work into this than he has. I have been considering getting divorced but don't have enough income currently but would be in a better position in 2 years. Anyway, now my birth control has failed and I am pregnant. We already have 3 kids. I told him hoping for support and brought up abortion but he said that he will not be ok with that. I feel our marriage is so rocky this will not be a good thing. He is very black and white, and there will be no way he will empathize once he makes up his mind about something. Let me know if you have any advice. I am considering a secret abortion at this point.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Its your decision about what to do with the pregnancy and it doesn’t sound like he is receptive to looking at all the options with you as a supportive partner, which is what you need.
How would you feel about the pregnancy if the marriage were healthy?
Can you take this to your counsellor also to talk through?
If he is also emotionally abusive, it may be worth contacting a local domestic abuse service for support and advice If the ref flags are there, you will need people to help you regardless of the decision you come to.
Is he happy about the pregnancy or is this more about controlling you?
For a marriage to improve, both people need to be aware and willing to make changes. No wonder you feel exhausted making all the efforts.
I feel for you. I was in very similar situation for a few years before I decided to leave my marriage. There was no pregnancy though, so you really have a tough decision and situation.
Have you got any friends/family you trust who can support you?
Sending hugs and warm thoughts ❤️
I wouldn't do it
Is there a real reason he won't go to therapy with you?
Does he know you want out?
Are you ready to be dumped or dump him over this issue?
If you lie, he’ll know. Just be prepared, be wise about whatever your choice.
You have to do what you feel is the right thing. Maybe be smarter about challenging him like the therapist says. She’s not wrong but creating more conflict might be counterproductive. If he goes into immediate conflict every time, challenging this types of persons by being aggressive or assertive can backfire. They become irrational and blaming. We don’t win.
I’m reading about high conflict people right now and this communication issue struck me.
I get you about the income and your expecting, can't tell someone about getting an abortion as not my call, but maybe you should when you can afford to get a divorce, as you can't do anymore then your doing,
Reach out anytime you like, Good luck!
Gary