{{{{{{{{{{{{lisa}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The roller coaster is a bitch of a ride sometimes.

Go to the meet up and enjoy yourself. They're a wild bunch and will take care of you.

Peaks and valleys my dear. We are here for you. Go tonight and allow your kindred brethren give you laughter and a moment of feeling lively....tomorrow....well, we will be here for you also. (((((((((((((((LLMT))))))))))))))))))

Llliiiiiisssssssaaaaa, (in my best whining voice)

It is ok, honey, we all have bad days! Set your mind on the fun you are going to have and focus on that and it will get you past the blues!

I'm to the point where I don't know if I want to go...I don't want to be a downer to anyone...everyone has their own set of issues and I don't want to even discuss mine. I know it will be good to go in the long run. To all..thanks for being here...just a bad moment in time for today. Does not help it's raining out either.

(((llmt)))

We all have those days so don't beat yourself up about it. Hang in there sweet cheeks.

Just go. Walk out that door tonight and don't look back. Once you get there you will have fun. Promise.

On a funny note...Jaken..you'll meet me and want to put me back...no kidding...LOL! No I'm really nice and shy too..a little too shy until the drinks start flying then look out, but I'm driving so I'll be good.

Don't be to hard on yourself. From what I'm feeling and from DS people that are further along than us in this process are saying, this is normal. I'm putting my trust in their experience and just keep going forward with their advise. No contact (or as little as possible, this is not your fault, he made this decision, and most importantly, time will heal. I know what you mean though, feeling good yesterday. Walked to downtown Philly for my favorite slice of pizza, great weather, lots of people walking around. Then I walked past a travel agency and thought of all the places my wife and I didn't get to together. I was glad I had sunglasses on so people wouldn't see my eyes tear up. Keep going forward and let tonight help with that.

I agree with the others... you NEED to go! It will be fun and you will not want for it to end!

GO!! The only way for the fog to lift is to do something.

((hug))

(((((llmt)))))

Trust me, the pain is NOT going to kill you. I thought that way once too and I thought I couldn't live without her but I am doing it. I feel like a big part of me was officially taken away yesterday, but in looking back, I realize that part wasn't there for a long time anyway.

You will get through this. You are bigger and better than his pettiness and selfishness and you will make it through for a million reasons, most notably your kids and your strength.

Hang in there, it sucks but I am definitely rooting for you.

Please go.

Go and tell them I'm your new BFF (that'll score points)

Go to the meet up tonight!!! They are meeting for a reason and no matter where you are in the journey, someone is at the same point or many have been to that point. You won't be a downer. It's the DS meet up, not a couples night out. The roller coaster is horrible, but I'm also putting my faith in other members that it will get better. Hang in there. Everyday won't be like this one.

God, I just feel like a GD ass that is all. I'm not normally a crier by nature and all I do is cry buckets when I do. I get pissed at myself and I swear there is a black cloud that is cursed hanging over my head. I can tell you that anything that can happen,,,will...to me. Please don't let this sound like whining, I'm not I just get mad at myself. My mom is right, my family is right...I need to move on faster, somehow, and figure it out. I'm taking a page from Z's journal about being in these 4 walls...that is how I feel..walled up. I am embarassed I am depressed despite being on meds and seeing a counsellor. Guess I'm too much of a perfectionist after all. It's hard when you can't change something either about yourself or situational. I can actually say, I'm afraid to be alone without the boys...the silence is deafening even tho' I keep myself busy...the tears still flow..even if it's just one. I don't why today is bad...it just is...tomorrow may be better. Let me hope..that is a good thing hope.