You are man. Stay the course. If things aren't right then it's not worth it for yourself. You can miss her, but you don't need someone like that in your life especially around your son. Chin up and don't back down. You got this.

Thanks. That's exactly what I need.

You are doing the right thing! And you can have the peace of mind knowing that you gave it all you had (and more). There is a lot to be said for being able to look back and know that you tried everything you could. Plus if you stick to the decision, you will have the support of the people who matter the most to you in your life...that is priceless!

Sublime,

Doing the right thing can hurt. Brave the hurt. The cure for the pain is in the pain (Rumi). I hurt, too. My husband of 11 years was on meth. I didn't want to let him go, I had to let him go.

You don't want to let her go, but you need to.

Many of us on this forum are hurting and in pain. However, know that this is normal and part of the process. Probably the loss of her is also triggering the loss you felt from your marriage.

What we feel today is also ripples back to the past

Do good things for yourself. Love yourself and be good to you and your son. You are both first priority. Sex and love is not enough. Love is not enough. There has to be a balance.

I say this to myself as I write it to you.

Hold on. The roller coaster ride is going to stop soon.

Sending you healing thoughts and wishes.

Letting go of something is rarely easy. Even when we know it's right, there are times that it is hard and hurts a lot. But it sounds like you made the right choice, for your own sake and for the sake of your son. He doesn't need to be exposed to that: he would learn that it was ok to treat others the way she treated you, and/or he would learn it is ok to accept being treated that way. I'm sure you don't want either of those things for him.

It can be doubly hard to walk away when someone needs help. My ex-H is an alcoholic, and he got in pretty bad trouble w the law about a year ago too. He's still struggling a lot now. There are days I feel bad for not bailing him out (the legal stuff happened when we were separated, our divorce finalized soon after), but at the end of the day, I know that I did not contribute to his problem, and it is not my responsibility to bail him out. That may sound calloused, but I've done hard work since splitting up from him to become less co-dependent and less enabling. When people have severe problems like that, we can feel like we need to fix it, but reality is they are the only ones who can decide to get help. And they need professional help.

It's been a struggle, but I hold onto this when I feel like it's my job to fix my Ex:
I have to accept the things I cannot change (his alcoholism and depression)
I have to change the things I can (MY reactions, MY actions, things I do or say), and
I have to know the difference between what I can and cannot change.

Stay strong and focus on your son. Resume No Contact, and stick with it. Anyone you have to hide from your family and those who truly love you is not someone worth having. Yes it is hard. But your sanity and personal happiness is worth it. Take it day by day and you will get there.

Thank you for everyone's reply. It helps tremendously. I have to constant remind my self that I'm doing the right thing. Whether it's in my head or writing it down on some paper I can hold in my hands. Thank you again.

Each time you reunite and break up, the relationship is more dysfunctional. I doubt there will ever be a happy ending with this one. Choose to get off the merry-go-round and stay off. Maybe the next relationship will be more fun (a roller coaster, perhaps). You won't know until you make yourself available for a healthy new start. Wishing you just that. Best of luck to you. :-)

No Contact is the only wat to go with this one!
She is manipulating you and your family can see better than you can!
Try and stay away for your own emotional wellbeing and self esteem.

She caught you at a very vulnerable time in your life and these types are adept at destroying people.
They show you their good side then bam it's full on rage when they kick off!...Walking on Eggshells..Living with a Borderline Personality will give you some insight into this type of individual.
You are probably in love with the person she showed you in the beginning but that's not the true side. Good people don't abuse others!

I think that's good that you write it down if needed. Just something tangible to hold onto. I still put private journal entries on here, that only I can read, just so I can get my thoughts straight. The act of typing it out really solidifies for me what was wrong and what is better now, etc.

You really are taking good steps, even if it may not always feel like it. Keep it up!
((HUGS))

Could use some big time help getting through today.......The woman whom I deeply love and care for found her new love after her telling me she was so heart broken, and that she has given up on love, and will never love again, blah blah blah...... just 2 weeks ago. No through the wonderful world of face book, she is sooooo happy and plastered her and her new love all over face book. I ve been suspicious that she was seeing someone the same time me and her had our "thing."

Although Im the one who ended things, and needed to do so, and its best for me, and everything points to it being the best decision of my life, it still hurts like hell to see someone you still love and who you thought loved you, with some one else.

Lord i hate Face Book. Im not a face book kinda guy actually, but I torture myself looking, suppose I got what I deserved, but, it sucks, I really wish she wouldn't have messed things up this summer, I really think we would have had an amazing life........

I feel so weak and I know Im a strong person, but matters of the heart, Im not, sometime I wish I could just be a jerk and turn off my feelings, but no such luck........

It certainly does hurt when something like this happens. Even when you are the one to end it and even when you know it's for the best.

First, you really have to block her on Facebook. If you don't, you are going to keep getting blindsided by stuff like this. It may feel hard to do it, but it is harder to have that lifeline open, for the exact scenario you described in your reply. Not just unfriend, but block. That way if some other mutual friend tags her, you won't have to see it.

Also, Facebook is dubbed "FAKEbook" for good reason: It's people's "highlights" reel. For one, she is jumping into something new to avoid dealing with her problems; to avoid dealing with the problems she showed while you were together AND to avoid dealing with the pain of the break up. Until she heals herself, she will never be in a fulfilling relationship. But people who cannot face working on themselves (because, admit it, there are times it would feel so much better to escape reality after a break up) throw themselves into something new to avoid their thoughts, their pain, and just being alone in general. Also, she likely is over dramatizing how "wonderful" it is; so that you, her family, her friends, her new guy's friends, etc, will *think* everything is shiny and wonderful. It's a pretty common tactic. Not many people are really as happy and fulfilled as they brag about on FB. If they were, they'd be too busy enjoying life to post every play-by-play.

Sorry you are dealing with this new blow, I've been there, it does suck. So I can say from experience, it got SO much better after I blocked him
(((HUGS)))

So, just read the full version of your story on another threat. I absolutely get that it is hard to see someone moving on. But, I can't help but think this is absolutely to best case scenario for you. If she is as unstable as you made her sound, a new interest may distract her from interfering in your life in the future.

You want a connection again. You want to give and receive love... you deserve better than this.

Be strong! Maybe write down the reasons she's bad for you and refer to it if/when she tries to reach out to you again. And definitely block her. It's like an alcoholic trying to stay sober while working in a liquor store. Be good to yourself and show your son and yourself how to have a healthy relationship. Good luck!

well friends, its the weekend.....I have really struggled this week, communication with my ex has been sparse, but powerful, and emotional, nothing but words of comfort from her and to her, we are both struggling with moving on.......I take comfort in knowing she still loves me, but at the same time, she is spending time with someone else, talk about a mix of emotions.........and this weekend will be difficult, because i know she will be with him, having fun, and doing things we used to do. I feel like such a weak person, I have never let a woman affect me like this, Ive tried everything to rid my mind, work, work out, lost 10 ponds in 2 weeks, not that i needed to ........but nothing works, everything I see smell, taste, hear, reminds me.........when will this end........

it's good you are able recognize that even though it's tough...you are doing the right thing... it's nice you're able to take to your ex about what you are going through... take care of you... try to busy yourself with friends and things you enjoy... I understand too well...I've caught myself torturing myself with Facebook images and then spiralling down into stories I create about their happiness...but then I remind myself that they are only stories... you'll get through... hang in there