Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I had a setback yesterday.....
i sent a message to him. Its been killing me for weeks to know if he is alive or not.
Him= the man I was involved with (not my ex husband) who is currently in Afghanistan.
He went on leave a month ago. Instead of coming home, he decided to go to Germany for his 2 week break. I was so ok with that and supportive.
I never heard from him while he on vacation. He sent one quick email about beer and drinking and the countryside.
Truthfully, I tensed up on the drinking part. I was married to an alcoholic and my life was sheer hell...full of drunken violent rages, DWI's, bar fights, arrests, etc.
i honestly cringe around the topic of alcohol. I know this is a trigger for me...but it really did destroy my life. Its been years of Alanon and healing in this regard as my life has been so impacted by it.
Anyways..... he sent one email, he never even called to say hello, nothing.
What was I to think? What would anyone think? he completely blew me off. After not hearing ANYTHING from him for weeks, I did break down and sent him a quick email just asking if he was ok, if he needed anything, if I did something to upset him, that I understood if he could talk and needed space to himself. etc. He never responded.
I made the mistake of asking again yesterday if he was ok...if he could just tell me he was safe...its been a month now without hearing anything. I was scared...in this war situation..seriously... I dont know if he is even alive when I dont hear from him. To compound this, a good friend of mine was killed in combat last month, so this is making it even harder.
Well....he sent an email back last night when I asked if he was ok saying that he was upset with ME for that I understand if he cant or doesnt want to talk to me.
So...... basically..he was "punishing" me for that with silence, rather than communicating. i told him that if he was upset about something, that i would rather discuss and clear the air than have the silent treatment.
I want to feel like this is a red flag..and the other part of me has compassion...i cant imagine what he is going through there...
But.... it also kind shows me that he is a runner....and I cant go back to that. My ex was a runner too.
Am I WAY out of line for being upset about no phone calls or communication while on vacation? If this is me and my problem within myself, I want to fix it and grow. Honesty appreciated, please. Im lost. Should I be the one running int he other direction?
i sent a message to him. Its been killing me for weeks to know if he is alive or not.
Him= the man I was involved with (not my ex husband) who is currently in Afghanistan.
He went on leave a month ago. Instead of coming home, he decided to go to Germany for his 2 week break. I was so ok with that and supportive.
I never heard from him while he on vacation. He sent one quick email about beer and drinking and the countryside.
Truthfully, I tensed up on the drinking part. I was married to an alcoholic and my life was sheer hell...full of drunken violent rages, DWI's, bar fights, arrests, etc.
i honestly cringe around the topic of alcohol. I know this is a trigger for me...but it really did destroy my life. Its been years of Alanon and healing in this regard as my life has been so impacted by it.
Anyways..... he sent one email, he never even called to say hello, nothing.
What was I to think? What would anyone think? he completely blew me off. After not hearing ANYTHING from him for weeks, I did break down and sent him a quick email just asking if he was ok, if he needed anything, if I did something to upset him, that I understood if he could talk and needed space to himself. etc. He never responded.
I made the mistake of asking again yesterday if he was ok...if he could just tell me he was safe...its been a month now without hearing anything. I was scared...in this war situation..seriously... I dont know if he is even alive when I dont hear from him. To compound this, a good friend of mine was killed in combat last month, so this is making it even harder.
Well....he sent an email back last night when I asked if he was ok saying that he was upset with ME for that I understand if he cant or doesnt want to talk to me.
So...... basically..he was "punishing" me for that with silence, rather than communicating. i told him that if he was upset about something, that i would rather discuss and clear the air than have the silent treatment.
I want to feel like this is a red flag..and the other part of me has compassion...i cant imagine what he is going through there...
But.... it also kind shows me that he is a runner....and I cant go back to that. My ex was a runner too.
Am I WAY out of line for being upset about no phone calls or communication while on vacation? If this is me and my problem within myself, I want to fix it and grow. Honesty appreciated, please. Im lost. Should I be the one running int he other direction?
My husband is wall of persistance too. I cheated on him 5 times in hope that he will drop me. He got me to nerves outbreak and mental hospital and still persisting in demending of my return. He plays on my feelings of sentimintality. I got to other country he spent hell of money on phone cards to call me every day. Yes, I can not say him no. But is it not obvious for any person that if someone trying reduce communication and pulling away there is might be reason for that. May be there is time to find some other object of admiration?