Going completely off the handle and not being able to stop myself...
Calling someone 100 times in one night because he pissed me off and wouldn't answer my call...telling my dad i hate him...telling people i'd prefer to kill myself than be forced to do this/that....


And then those times when I'm quiet because someone has just said to me "You're a liar! Everyone knows it because you take all those pills! Antidepressants and antipsychotics...."

I guess it's all pretty much bad, except for the productive mania and the way my mind links everything together in a sometimes sensible, creative way. It's not all bad, right? I mean, when I was manic, I was the life of the party, irresistible. At least I think I was....

toxic relationships

Becoming paranoid due to not sleeping. Also, not speaking my mind at appropriate times and bottling it up and then exploding in a rage later.

The worst thing about my BP is the desire to hurt myself. Be it physically or through a relationship, when I become either manic or depressed, I want something to hurt. I don't know why, but sometimes pain, emotional or physical can snap me out of it.

Strange, I know. But I have broken up with boyfriends for no reason. I have attacked a wall, cut myself. That is my worst BP issue, and usually when I'm manic.

OK, I sound like a terrible person here...but I swear I'm not.

Believing I am ok... when I am not... and the rage when it is pointed out to me.. and then the despair...

It knows where I live. *hides under bed*

The worst habit, is trying to make people think that everything is okay...When I know it's not, and they do also. Not like they ask about it, I guess they just think I'm strange.-
Am I assuming again?

fear and loathing in lost places

Gee, I kinda like my bipolar. We have been good friends through the years. I named it Skippy.
But I do hate it when I get a little stressed and it turns into a major stress out w/panic attacks, agoraphobia, shaking, insommnia etc. All this over the fact that I ran out of milk. A bit much, no?

i dont know if this is bipolar, ADHD, or just a guy thing. seems like most of the bipolar people i know normally stay within a center level of their mood. i can go from crying because of a death, to wanting to go play and smile, to wanting to cry again because something reminded me of them, all within 15 minutes.

i was talking with a friend yesterday and i did a pretty jerk thing. there was a few words exchanged and a few moments of silence. after about 8 minutes i decided i was tired of that, so i changed the topic to something more enjoyable.

The mood swings has got to be the worst for me

paranoia. When this happens, I just don't want to be here anymore.

The crash.

I lay in bed for days or weeks at a time and everything takes all of my energy to do. I always have that scared feeling, when is it going happen in the back of my head all the time.

symptom-rapid cycles
habit- picking fights with my husband

I wouldn't call this a habit but the worst thing and the thing I fear most about my bipolar is the violence I am capable of when not stable and the things I say and don't mean when I am that unstable. I should keep my mouth shut during those times and just hold up in my bedroom alone.