Just got finished watching "The Informant" , about Mark Whitacer.

Famous bipolar that started the Nigerian email schemes and embezeled and launderd 10 million dollars from his company.

good movie

The conversations and racing thoughts in his head are narrated in the movie. Funny as hell, beepers will like it. The dude lies constantly, hehe a man after my own heart.

Was Matt Damon in that movie, any good?

I am in a bad way. Sobbing, hating this f-ng disease. Wondering when it all began. I can't take this sometimes. Happy, sad, happy, sad. Peace and calmness to my life already!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear that Sam. Yeah Matt Damon was pretty good, he is kind of spaced out most the movie.

I'm wide awake and not happy about it.
I go outside for awhile then come back in and watch tv...nothin's on
look on youtube for more cow bell...full version...find one but it sucks
jump over to ds for a few minutes....think I'm gonna go back outside

(((hug))) @Sam

sorry you feel bad sam :(

I appreciate the hug NoOneKnows1 and thanks Juicski. I have soul pain tonight. I just want to be normal. Is that wrong? My sisters and brother are fine. Why me?

ok, headed back outside to gaze at the stars and have really deep thoughts...naw, not really just havin a smoke...that sounded good tho...

took my meds late and they keep me awake, just playing bingo on the comp and cruising DS with the tv in the background for noise. almost a normal night lately

I am also waiting for my benzos to kick in finally. It's Klonopin, which takes longer. I prefer Xanax, cause it works super fast. My doc gives me both but on a staggered schedule. Most of the time he just calls it in. But Monday is Xanax time and I worry he will call me about it and want to discuss why he has me taking both. I like klonopin for how long it stays in your system and keeps you calm. I like Xanax for how fast it works. These meds are the only way I sleep anymore. I sometimes hate that. But it is what it is. I've tried just quitting. Bad idea. I was off them for days once and I had the shakes and slight paranoia. When I worked in Family Practice, we got free samples of all the new drugs. Well I took home a bunch of Ambien CR and Lunesta. Neither touched my insomnia. I've always been very resistant to sedatives. Doc tried to switch me from benzos to Trazadone. NIghtmare. Didn't help my insomnia and I woke up with the worst headache of my life. Okay, I'm rambling. Sorry.

Klonopin never really helped me not sure why. I'm on xanax for now. I've tried ambien and some of the others but they make me sleep walk and do really weird stuff in my sleep.

Meds kicking in BIG TIME. Good night all. Still not on the right sleep cycle.

It's only 5pm here and I've been tired all afternoon. I don't expect to go much sleep tonight though. I have a performance appraisal at work tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Already agitated and I can't stop pacing around my apartment. Seriously considering a sickie.