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What to tell my pdoc *trigger warning*

ivybelle
ivybelle
So I freaked my pdoc out enough on Monday that she wanted to see me again this week. She had a cancellation for tomorrow and called me and told me to come in. I'm afraid if I don't act like things are better, my next stop is the hospital. There are several problems with this:

First, and most obvious, while I have been in the hospital before it has been a very long time and I am terrified of going back in. I know that it might be good to get things stabelized and maybe get on better meds. I just really want to avoid it.

Second, my insurance has a maximum of $3,000 dollars a year and that will get eaten up just by pdoc appointments. It only covers 50% of medical bills and my mom is struggling just to help me with the copays from my pdoc. If I go to the hospital, not only will it wipe out all of my coverage for the year, it will cost me a ton of money. I know that there are patient assistance programs to help with that at the hospital, but it will make it so I have to pay 100% of my pdoc visits which means I will see her less afterwards.

So, if I tell her that I still have suicidal ideations (even though there's no intent now and they're pretty fleeting) and that I've wanted to cut, I'm afraid of what she is going to do. Should I just play it down like things are okay, or let her know what's really going on? I mean, if things were in a perfect world I would just tell her, but this will be a disaster if it goes wrong...
deleted_user
deleted_user
My tdoc always stresses to me the difference between suicidal thoughts and intent. It's ok to have the thought. Once there is intent to harm yourself, that's when hospitalization is necessary.
CarlaBent
CarlaBent
Print out your post and take it with you!!! I think it will give your doctor exactly the information that she needs and makes your points perfectly valid and clear. I know it's scary to tell her, but I don't think the way to go is to hide things. How can she help you if she doesn't know the truth?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!! For what it's worth, you don't sound to me like you need to be hospitalized, at the moment. Perhaps a little med tweak is all that's needed!!! I hope that it's something simple like that, anyway!!!!
(((Hugs)))
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
That's a good idea to print out the post!
Its always best to be honest with your doc thats how they will help you
Thoughts are very different from intent.
I hope the appt goes well
Big hug
ivybelle
ivybelle
Thanks for the suggestions. I'm going to tell her and hope that things go well. I will let her know about the concerns I'm having. I guess I just needed some courage. Thanks you guys!
juststartingout
juststartingout
She should understand the difference between having the ideas and intent... I hope she does and can help you.
My pdoc always laughs a little when he asks if I'm having more suicidal thoughts then before and I say yeah but I know better. I may think about it a lot but I know better... and I'm lucky that makes sense to him...
good luck with your appt. let us know how it goes if you'd like.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree with telling your pdoc the truth or a print out of what you wrote on here. I hope that things work out for you and I am sure that your doc may find a way to help you. My pdoc wanted me to go to the hopsital yesterday, but I know that I will be okay just as soon as I get my meds in me, so I did not go.I just know it will all work out for you. So hang in there girl, and be good to yourself. It will all be okay, remember this is a dis-ease,so long as we treat it as that then we will make it easier on ourselves.The best of luck to you.

God Bless, Kase
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think it would hurt to tell your pdoc- exactly what you told us: that you are having suicidal thoughts but you can't afford to be hospitalized. Docs has alot of discretion as far as what they think is best for their patients, sending you to the hospital every time you are feeling down shouldn't be your docs only alternative. Be honest with your doc and ask his him/her if both of you can work something out so that you can be stable without being broke.
freeheeler
freeheeler
Wow, tough bind. Right, be honest with your doc. Let her know that the financial stress of hospitalization would be a huge trigger for you. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was open with my pdoc when I was scared of the same thing. We changed my med dosing to twice a day instead of once a day. Now I have to go back and say yes I feel better but I did cut...I know where you are coming from. I am not working and my husbands business is not doing well in sales right now...where to go....I guess we need to do what is best for us and if we have to make payments...well add it to the list. Best of luck!
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