Or what WAS, if you happened to learn a better one. Just a general question. A curiosity.

For me it's either shut down, or be the "class clown". After high school, I didn't tell ANYONE about my bipolar disorder. I'd go to parties, bars, and the smoke box was the hang-out place during college. I'd be completely empty inside, in the deepest of depressions, but I'd go outside or wherever and be the "life of the party". Everyone would laugh at stupid shit I'd say. People laughing at me always made me temporarily feel better. And I was legitamitely funny. (Still am when I go back to that defense mechanism) I'm the funniest when I'm depressed. But not on here because fuck that.
My best friend, we've been best friends for about 7 years now, talk every day, that sort of thing. Anyway, I didn't tell her until it was 3am one night and I was out in the smoke box sobbing and had insomnia. She asked me what was wrong (at this time we were just friends). I told her I was bipolar. She laughed. Then it was "are you serious? seriously?" She said she felt bad for laughing but she said it was a shock at first because I was so fucking funny. We've been close ever since. We roomed together the next year. She said I was the best room mate she ever had. She admitted she was ashamed because she had doubts of living with someone who's bipolar, but I really opened her eyes that year. We've been inseperable ever since. She said if she had the money to go back to school, she'd go to be a therapist. Because I opened up.

Opening up is not something I do. (Except on here because fuck it). My other coping mechanism, I mentioned, is shutting down. That's from growing up. When I'd have something happen, I wasn't allowed to cry. Got some major abuse if I did. So I'd just go to auto-pilot and be miserable on the inside, completely blank on the outside. I'll get scared and sit as still as I can. Try not to move. Make no facial expressions. Shit, I'll try not to breathe.

But yeah, I've found a few healthier ways to deal with shit. I still go full-blown comic, but I like hearing laughter. I like making people happy. But I've realized it's not the healthiest thing because as soon as I'm away from the laughter, I feel even worse. Because no one is around me laughing at dumb shit I say. I'm not making anyone happy. 

Anyway, what about you guys? Unhealthy coping/defense mechanisms you have/have had? And if you've found healthier ones, what are they?