Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
**trigger-warning'd (TW) for those sensitive or impressionable to suicide mention at the moment** (I'm paranoid and worried about getting reported/being offensive)
I've been on Wellbutrin for maybe a week.
My most severe suicidality episodes are ultra-short.
I've heard it's worse with dichotomous thinking, which I have.
But uh, I tore my mum a new hole verbally a few hours ago. I'm unproud of it, but this always happens when I'm suicidal, and it adds to my suicidality because of guilt I experience.
And I was going to hang myself without telling a soul except for my friend Earle because my suicidal ideation doesn't really fuck around, and every particle of my being GENUINELY believes no one can do anything to help, because it usually starts with a nihilistic train of thought about how society will never offer anything for someone who is ill and cannot contribute (which is true to a lesser degree under capitalism, but I digress...).
ANYWAYS, with the Wellbutrin. I'm reading that it very, very specifically is known for increasing risk of suicide very steeply in individuals with bipolar or who are already prone to those thoughts.
Has this happened to anybody? Was it irresponsible of my physician to prescribe it, knowing my issues with aggression and already-prominent suicidal thinking?
I went to the restroom which took all of.... 5 minutes, intending to go hang myself in the closet when I got out, but my extreme rage exhausted me too much for me to seriously consider it any longer than that.
The idea was that Wellbutrin with Depakote might not do that, but I haven't been taking the Depakote like I should be because it makes me drowsy and confused.
Also I'm in the depression phase, so the wellbutrin was intended to terminate my depression episode kind of quickly.
I'm not a danger right now. My brain chemicals fell to 0 more than an hour ago, I'm not frantickin'.
But casually having ultra close calls isn't normal.
Plus it's kind of unusual for me to have suicidal plans which are *that* serious in nature, even with the frequency with which my suicidal ideation occurs. I didn't have any doubts or fear that I wouldn't be able to actually do it.
I think it's the wellbutrin. l: Has this happened to anybody with Wellbutrin (Buproprion) or other antidepressants?
The good news (I guess) is that I have a counselor's appointment in about 5 days, so I'll bring it up then.
Sorry for being such a dramatic asshole. I don't feel like myself and I'm going to try to do something about it.
I've been on Wellbutrin for maybe a week.
My most severe suicidality episodes are ultra-short.
I've heard it's worse with dichotomous thinking, which I have.
But uh, I tore my mum a new hole verbally a few hours ago. I'm unproud of it, but this always happens when I'm suicidal, and it adds to my suicidality because of guilt I experience.
And I was going to hang myself without telling a soul except for my friend Earle because my suicidal ideation doesn't really fuck around, and every particle of my being GENUINELY believes no one can do anything to help, because it usually starts with a nihilistic train of thought about how society will never offer anything for someone who is ill and cannot contribute (which is true to a lesser degree under capitalism, but I digress...).
ANYWAYS, with the Wellbutrin. I'm reading that it very, very specifically is known for increasing risk of suicide very steeply in individuals with bipolar or who are already prone to those thoughts.
Has this happened to anybody? Was it irresponsible of my physician to prescribe it, knowing my issues with aggression and already-prominent suicidal thinking?
I went to the restroom which took all of.... 5 minutes, intending to go hang myself in the closet when I got out, but my extreme rage exhausted me too much for me to seriously consider it any longer than that.
The idea was that Wellbutrin with Depakote might not do that, but I haven't been taking the Depakote like I should be because it makes me drowsy and confused.
Also I'm in the depression phase, so the wellbutrin was intended to terminate my depression episode kind of quickly.
I'm not a danger right now. My brain chemicals fell to 0 more than an hour ago, I'm not frantickin'.
But casually having ultra close calls isn't normal.
Plus it's kind of unusual for me to have suicidal plans which are *that* serious in nature, even with the frequency with which my suicidal ideation occurs. I didn't have any doubts or fear that I wouldn't be able to actually do it.
I think it's the wellbutrin. l: Has this happened to anybody with Wellbutrin (Buproprion) or other antidepressants?
The good news (I guess) is that I have a counselor's appointment in about 5 days, so I'll bring it up then.
Sorry for being such a dramatic asshole. I don't feel like myself and I'm going to try to do something about it.
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I was only on it for a week or so before the ugliness took hold and I was on a ledge. I ran from wanting to die to wanting to kill everyone around me. ( figuratively) I was in a state of hostility and confusion.
Awful shit for me. I weaned myself off because I was afraid of what I was feeling and thinking. ( I will say I was on it before dx )
I was on Zoloft before dx too and did well until well I didn't. Mania became the beast with that. I am bp1w/rapid cycling and have had psychosis. I was on Zoloft for my eating disorder and OCD stuff.
I would call pdoc sooner than later in my opinion. 5 days is a long time with what you are feeling. I do hope everything goes well.
I might call tommorow.
I was on Zoloft for anxiety disorder in 7th grade, and Paxil after that. Paxil gave me vivid homicidal ideations and weight gain so it had to be stopped eventually. Zoloft was pretty meh. It's given to children a lot before they're tried on other stuff, and for OCD.
I mean I kinda knew this might happen but I didn't really think that it actually would? Ah well. I suppose I should probably get it checked on sooner rather than later as you say. It's probably not gonna get a lot better from here on out.
I hope you feel better Voltaire. Please hang in there....would taking charcoal caps to soak up the Wellbutrin help? I've done that when I took too many meds. It will absorb it.
I would call your doc V and if you aren't put right through leave a message....If you've just recently started it if it were me I'd stop it
Big hug for you....xo