Hi everyone! I woke up at 3 am this morning which is odd for me because I usually sleep until about 5 or 6 and if I'm lucky 7 or 8. Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm fixing to enter into a hypomanic state but normally if I start going without much sleep over a period of days or weeks, I know I'm hypomanic. When I'm like that I get very little sleep which affects my mood and overall well being. I hope this is just a one time deal though. Maybe my body feels like it had enough sleep I don't know but I'm wide awake. Makes for a long day even if I have nothing to do. It still puts a strain on me. The only thing that concerns me besides not enough sleep is being impulsive. When I get impulsive, I don't think about consequences and repurcussions. I just go and do without thinking first. It's like someone else is in control of me. Along with the impulsivity, I get really anxious and get the urge to drink or smoke pot which isn't good for me in the long run. I really have to watch myself and try to mindful of my words and actions. Which is easier said than done a lot of the time. I have more trouble with hypomania than I do depression but when depression hits, it hits hard. It's harder for me to deal with the hypomania because I feel like I'm not in control and say and do things I normally wouldn't. I get wild. When I'm depressed I just don't want to do anything and want to sleep it all away. I do know coping skills that I have learned over the years and most of the time that is what helps me make it through but it's not always effective especially if I get too bad. Meds help a lot but don't always save me from spiraling out of control. For the most part they do their job. I also have mixed states which drives me mad. I can't stand being like that. I'd rather be one or the other than mixed. I get scared sometimes because I'm worried I might do something that will land me in jail or in the hospital so I really have to be careful. I have been in and out of jail and hospitals since I was a teen. Thankfully, I haven't been locked up since 2016 and haven't been to the hospital since 2015 so I'm doing pretty good as far as that goes. I don't like either of those places so I try to stay out of trouble if I can help it. Hopefully I can get some more sleep soon. If not, it's going to be a long day for me but I'll make it. Sorry for the long winded post. Just expressing my feelings I guess. It helps to get it out. Thanks for listening! Hope ya'll have a great day!