Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Do they trigger mania for you? Or depression?
Last night I found my bowl from when I used to smoke. I stopped smoking when I started the recovery process because it made me crazy with paranoia. When I found it last night, along with a lighter, I decided to smoke whatever was in there, mostly resin. I got high, twice yesterday.
Then today I had a great morning, interviewed with NAMI, going to be a speaker to high school students about living with bipolar disorder. That and the grande caramel macciato I had made me a little manic. Then I realized today that the clocks were set back and it was dark at 5:00pm. That got me good.
Since then, I have gotten a little agitated and depressed. I feel extremely lonely and like everyone in my life (not hate but) doesn't like me.
My best friend is moving out of town suddenly and we're going to have to cancel all of our plans. I called her today asking for an update of when she's leaving and if we are going to go to kick boxing or not. She hasn't called me back, and that's not like her.
Also, my ex fling thing and I broke up (I broke up with him) and then I helped him in a jam, and now we're friends.... we cuddled at the movie theater though.. spent the whole day together.. ugh! But he's not serious about anything and suddenly I am just in love with him or something, I gave him the love eyes and meant it... I couldn't help it!
I also spoke too soon with a guy friend who is suddenly eager to hang out and I feel like I blew it.
I'm just kind of freaking out right now and I still feel the espresso and I'm really mad at myself and I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to go to bed and lay there away until 3am which is usually when I'm falling asleep these days.
Okay this is kind of a rant, but I think smoking weed has a terrible affect on me. I was talking BP with my brother who thinks he has it too and we talked about how all drugs induce some form of a mood swing. The director at NAMI said that too.
If anyone cares to write, that would be just dandy... I feel so damn alone and scared.
Last night I found my bowl from when I used to smoke. I stopped smoking when I started the recovery process because it made me crazy with paranoia. When I found it last night, along with a lighter, I decided to smoke whatever was in there, mostly resin. I got high, twice yesterday.
Then today I had a great morning, interviewed with NAMI, going to be a speaker to high school students about living with bipolar disorder. That and the grande caramel macciato I had made me a little manic. Then I realized today that the clocks were set back and it was dark at 5:00pm. That got me good.
Since then, I have gotten a little agitated and depressed. I feel extremely lonely and like everyone in my life (not hate but) doesn't like me.
My best friend is moving out of town suddenly and we're going to have to cancel all of our plans. I called her today asking for an update of when she's leaving and if we are going to go to kick boxing or not. She hasn't called me back, and that's not like her.
Also, my ex fling thing and I broke up (I broke up with him) and then I helped him in a jam, and now we're friends.... we cuddled at the movie theater though.. spent the whole day together.. ugh! But he's not serious about anything and suddenly I am just in love with him or something, I gave him the love eyes and meant it... I couldn't help it!
I also spoke too soon with a guy friend who is suddenly eager to hang out and I feel like I blew it.
I'm just kind of freaking out right now and I still feel the espresso and I'm really mad at myself and I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to go to bed and lay there away until 3am which is usually when I'm falling asleep these days.
Okay this is kind of a rant, but I think smoking weed has a terrible affect on me. I was talking BP with my brother who thinks he has it too and we talked about how all drugs induce some form of a mood swing. The director at NAMI said that too.
If anyone cares to write, that would be just dandy... I feel so damn alone and scared.
Hope you get better. It will all work out in the end...or whenever we end it. (sorry----depressed 2day)
I don't struggle with it anymore, I just cannot smoke weed. It put me into a depression. I feel like I'm still in it.