Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Do they trigger mania for you? Or depression?
Last night I found my bowl from when I used to smoke. I stopped smoking when I started the recovery process because it made me crazy with paranoia. When I found it last night, along with a lighter, I decided to smoke whatever was in there, mostly resin. I got high, twice yesterday.
Then today I had a great morning, interviewed with NAMI, going to be a speaker to high school students about living with bipolar disorder. That and the grande caramel macciato I had made me a little manic. Then I realized today that the clocks were set back and it was dark at 5:00pm. That got me good.
Since then, I have gotten a little agitated and depressed. I feel extremely lonely and like everyone in my life (not hate but) doesn't like me.
My best friend is moving out of town suddenly and we're going to have to cancel all of our plans. I called her today asking for an update of when she's leaving and if we are going to go to kick boxing or not. She hasn't called me back, and that's not like her.
Also, my ex fling thing and I broke up (I broke up with him) and then I helped him in a jam, and now we're friends.... we cuddled at the movie theater though.. spent the whole day together.. ugh! But he's not serious about anything and suddenly I am just in love with him or something, I gave him the love eyes and meant it... I couldn't help it!
I also spoke too soon with a guy friend who is suddenly eager to hang out and I feel like I blew it.
I'm just kind of freaking out right now and I still feel the espresso and I'm really mad at myself and I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to go to bed and lay there away until 3am which is usually when I'm falling asleep these days.
Okay this is kind of a rant, but I think smoking weed has a terrible affect on me. I was talking BP with my brother who thinks he has it too and we talked about how all drugs induce some form of a mood swing. The director at NAMI said that too.
If anyone cares to write, that would be just dandy... I feel so damn alone and scared.
Last night I found my bowl from when I used to smoke. I stopped smoking when I started the recovery process because it made me crazy with paranoia. When I found it last night, along with a lighter, I decided to smoke whatever was in there, mostly resin. I got high, twice yesterday.
Then today I had a great morning, interviewed with NAMI, going to be a speaker to high school students about living with bipolar disorder. That and the grande caramel macciato I had made me a little manic. Then I realized today that the clocks were set back and it was dark at 5:00pm. That got me good.
Since then, I have gotten a little agitated and depressed. I feel extremely lonely and like everyone in my life (not hate but) doesn't like me.
My best friend is moving out of town suddenly and we're going to have to cancel all of our plans. I called her today asking for an update of when she's leaving and if we are going to go to kick boxing or not. She hasn't called me back, and that's not like her.
Also, my ex fling thing and I broke up (I broke up with him) and then I helped him in a jam, and now we're friends.... we cuddled at the movie theater though.. spent the whole day together.. ugh! But he's not serious about anything and suddenly I am just in love with him or something, I gave him the love eyes and meant it... I couldn't help it!
I also spoke too soon with a guy friend who is suddenly eager to hang out and I feel like I blew it.
I'm just kind of freaking out right now and I still feel the espresso and I'm really mad at myself and I don't know what to do with myself and I don't want to go to bed and lay there away until 3am which is usually when I'm falling asleep these days.
Okay this is kind of a rant, but I think smoking weed has a terrible affect on me. I was talking BP with my brother who thinks he has it too and we talked about how all drugs induce some form of a mood swing. The director at NAMI said that too.
If anyone cares to write, that would be just dandy... I feel so damn alone and scared.
it bugs me. i know it can go horribly wrong when i'm stoned. it's like russian roulette. ahh well, now i'm babbling.
a lot of people swear by it as very helpful, and it's legal where i live, so it is far more accepted.
whatever gets you through the night, i suppose.
I know what you mean mojopaw, I thought it might work out fine... the high was okay... just the after effect really brought me down today. Plus, I acted like such an idiot in front of my brother and little sister... my brother could tell i was high.
I have been having a lot of fear, depression and anxiety lately. I wonder if its from the bowl a day habit I have to control my neck and arm pain from a slipped disc. I have already been cutting back my use, mostly because my short term memory is getting worse.
Its interesting how many beepers I know have used MJ.
and sorry this is so long. ((((((hugs))))))))
I discovered a very small smoke once a week re-induced hypersexuality- an effect rapidly lost if attempted more often. Unfortunately it also left me manic for hours after the bf was exhausted and the crash for me was 36 hours plus.
Grenadine, sounds like you are in the crash zone. I found those feelings wore off after a couple of days. The THC must drop out of your blood stream to be metabolized and/or becomes stored in body fat temporarily. Try not to worry, it IS paranoia you are feeling, and not real. I'm sure your girlfriend is flat out trying to organize things and not ignoring you- she's probably in a panic herself. Maybe you could drop over to hers and offer to help? IT might make you feel better- or be a waste of time because she's off on an errand- it's just a suggestion. In any case, these horrible feelings won't last. Alternately, you could take some time alone for yourself and do something relaxing.
Ignore both guys for a few days- the love eyes was probably just dope effects. It'll keep em on their toes and you'll regain some some dignity. Just keep it light the next time you see either of 'em and have fun. Maybe ease off the romantic angle and just be playful and give 'em a bit of shit (tease them) too would be my suggestion. You will be fine, I reckon. Paranoia is horrid but I bet you will feel much better over the next day or so.
Ah, Christopher... People drink and smoke for fun and social reasons. Both drugs affect people differently. Not all people are affected by anxiety, it is dose dependent- and some people never even get anxious. Anxiety tends to hit newbies transiently, and later, long term users with other issues going on, may suffer anxiety and depression) at much higher dose levels. As for alcohol, it can be fun, disinhibiting and being a non-drinker is social suicide in some settings. At least one antidepressant I was put on made me compulsively feel like drinking which was highly out of character. Being older, peer pressure isn't a factor. Drinking and smoking is unhelpful but takes some people longer to realise that. Being on the right meds I don't drink at all, or want to. Life has gotten easier though, too.
Doing either drugs to excess will rapidly rob a person of their perspective. A perspective that may already be compromised by illness.
I went to bed last night and didn't realize this thread got so many posts!
Thank you for your responses and I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets so paranoid when tokin' on the reefer.