Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Dalton2016 02/21/2013

Does anyone ever get the feeling like everyones out to get you? I'm processing everything differently and my friends are looking different because I feel something severely has changed. They don't think I've changed but I feel like I'm not me. I'm hearing voices telling me what to do. And yes I'm going against the "not saying anything to anyone voice" right now. So I'm scared but don't do anything. I am bipolar 1 and am in mania right now. I've had such a blast the last couple weeks everything is amazing and I feel so good but tonight something weird has struck.
I'm suppose to take geodon, but hate ill effects. Thought I was going to die the other night(but knew I wasn't literally). That and only helps short term. And was taking depakote and seroquel but only made my mania worse. Mind sped up too much. I've been through a crap ton of meds. Dr is just trying to stop the voices and prevent mania to going to far. I've cheated on my girlfriend, and I can't say anymore. I feel like a God but shits just getting weird.

deleted_user 02/21/2013

Hey there Dalton, I don't have a voice for this sort of thing but I'm glad you chose to go against the voice that want's you to keep it in.

I'm sure you have a better understanding of what's happening right now and others here will have more pointed questions/suggestions for you as soon as they see this so check back and don't let that voice close you out.

If need be you know where you must go so there is always that option even if it is the worst you can think of...peace.

deleted_user 02/21/2013

Hi Dalton,

If your in the middle of a Manic Ep and your hearing voices, you need to get hold of your Pdoc ASAP. Call her/his emergency number tonight. If you can't get through, then definitely call first thing in the morning. This is a situation that can turn very dangerous, very quick, dangerous for you and other people. If you can't get hold of your Dr. then you should head to the ER, so they can help you stabilize.

Hang in there.....

Kat

tommymott 02/21/2013

It's good you're letting us know what's going on. Mania is the single most destructive thing I've ever encountered and after it was taken care of using anti-psychotics I started using lithium and have been mania-free for 34 years. As I understand it, there's no good in starting a stabilizer while in mania. Please get with your doc. Please take care of yourself. We care about you.

deleted_user 02/21/2013

if im wrong please correct me... but it sounds like you may be going off your meds? on your meds? as you feel the need... ?

could all this be you messing with your meds? withdrawals ?

its good that you seem to have a grip... best thing to do is to really not worry ... dont panic... the voices while seeming very real and impossible to run from .... are perfectly harmless as sound... yes it messes with your sense of reality but you do have power over that to a greater degree than you might think...

ive had a good deal of success helping people understand the basics if you want personal help just Message me and we can correspond...

like i implied... understanding what is really going on is the key to staying grounded... there is a way to nurture your inner ego rather than fight it and lose the capacity to deal rationally with your perceptions

SunCloudJD 02/21/2013

Dalton if it were me I'd get to emerg.. As tommy wrote a lot of destruction goes on during a mania and it's ALWAYS followed by a crash..
Please get help it's there for you...xo

dancingd 02/21/2013

I kinda think , if you are hearing voices, you have progressed into psychosis ?

Time to contact your Pdoc ?

Hearing voices is not a good sign

deleted_user 02/21/2013

I am on haldol for this. It has been a lifesaver for me.

deleted_user 02/21/2013

Are the voices external from you or do they feel as if something or someone is speaking through you...using your body as a chamber..so the voices take over you and every time they speak it sends you into a tailspin ? culminating in a rush to the head.
Are you being controlled by them to the point where the surroundings are less tactile to you, less real

dancingd 02/21/2013

Also, the feeling like you are GOD....all bad signs

dancingd 02/21/2013

I should have said

You are feeling like a GOD.....yep....not good .

Dalton2016 02/24/2013

Hey guys I appreciate all the support very much. I had just seen my dr on Monday and that's when I had started geodon. I tried getting back on my old meds but failed. And yes "punfun" that's exactly what's happening. The voices were coming from within me, just taking over all my control, and dictating what I did and thought. Unfortunately I had chosen to self-medicate and it seemed to really calm me down and the voices are gone now. I'm just waiting for it all to come back in one burst. I wouldn't be surprised, but so far so good. As far as meds go, I haven't been as consistent on them. I made it without for 5 weeks until I went into mania. When I take meds I become very depressed and just end up self-medicating cause I feel like I'm going to harm myself(ironic I know). As far as substances go I'm usually good until I have problems, then I start using if it goes to far. Say if I become really hostile, or homicidal, or even suicidal. Thanks again

deleted_user 02/24/2013

You are losing it. You need to take your medication. The highs can be addictive, but once you lose it you really have no control over your actions. You could end up arrested with a record or worse. Last time I was off medication I ended up in jail and was taken to a state hospital. This is nothing to play around with. Sure side effects suck, but so does getting arrested. I will take a little grogginess over jail any day.

Dalton2016 02/24/2013

I understand that. I am very addicted to the highs. So euphoric and it gets better all the time. I just feel there is no way to feel good except in mania or in the slight amount of time I get in the so called "normal" zone. Jail would definitely blow I don't disagree with you there. Just trying to take the least amount as possible. I appreciate your reminding, and I will definitely keep it in mind. I know I have to do something with meds soon, just am hesitant. Thanks

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