Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I found out last night, around 1:30am, that my father was in the ICU for three days and almost died. He was on vaca and fell off of his bike (a car almost hit him) and he ended up in the hospital. He told the friend he was with that she was not to call and tell anyone. I am VERY pissed off about that. This is the same man that screamed at me last time we spoke because I rushed to the hospital and did not call him.
He could have died... The doctors were amazed he woke up... I am very much a daddy's girl and he means to world to me, no matter how much we fight. To him have died when we were on bad terms... I might have tried to kill myself... I am going to be absolutely devastated when he passes.
I was so mad at him last night. I started crying so hard... And then he started swearing at me because I have not sent him copies of my school grades from last semester. I just can never please him.
I love him so much and I do my best to make him proud. When he thinks means the world to me... I don't want to lose my daddy and I know I will one day... I am total mess.
We talked for over an hour and we both agreed to start fresh and stop butting heads, like we always do. We are so much alike, it's sick. I don't know if that's a good thing. :P
Idk... I just felt like venting. I was up until 4am last night because I was so upset. I slept almost all day today and had nothing but awful, awful nightmares.
Thanks for reading people. It means a lot to me.
He could have died... The doctors were amazed he woke up... I am very much a daddy's girl and he means to world to me, no matter how much we fight. To him have died when we were on bad terms... I might have tried to kill myself... I am going to be absolutely devastated when he passes.
I was so mad at him last night. I started crying so hard... And then he started swearing at me because I have not sent him copies of my school grades from last semester. I just can never please him.
I love him so much and I do my best to make him proud. When he thinks means the world to me... I don't want to lose my daddy and I know I will one day... I am total mess.
We talked for over an hour and we both agreed to start fresh and stop butting heads, like we always do. We are so much alike, it's sick. I don't know if that's a good thing. :P
Idk... I just felt like venting. I was up until 4am last night because I was so upset. I slept almost all day today and had nothing but awful, awful nightmares.
Thanks for reading people. It means a lot to me.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Sorry, I'm at a complete loss for words.
I'm glad your dad's okay. Hugguns to you~
I too dread losing my parents, I know it will happen one day and I know I will be a complete mess. I can make myself cry just imagining it. So its best not to think about it. Distraction, distraction.
about a year ago my mom was hospitalized because of a stroke and before it hit, she made my dad swear not to say a word.She was in the hospital for 4 days, one of those days was my dads bday and when no one could get ahold of them i panicked, they werent home, answering phones......very out of character...I called 3 hospitals till i found them.
that floored me big time, try to be gentle my sweet...sometimes its hard to love so much
Strength to you both. He is very lucky to have such a determined daughter that wants to be there for him.
It's harder to lose a parent we are always at odds with in spite of loving them very much.
It means that the chance to make peace no longer exists. There can never be a resolution to something that is a source of deep pain for us.
Are you in any therapy? If not, is it a possibility?
Most likely, you may have to accept that you're never going to be able to please your father. As much as that may hurt, it is NOT a reflection on you and all that you've accomplished.
It just means that, for whatever reason, your dad can't express his love for you in the way that you want him to.
It isn't too uncommon for a father (or either parent) who is unhappy within himself to not like seeing himself reflected in his child. It's usually at an unconscious level and he probably does not recognize that that's what he's doing. Since you two are so alike, perhaps that's what's going on here.
If you can accept your father as he is and realize that he may not be able to do any better than he is, than you won't feel as frustrated and disappointed as you do when you try to get him to treat you the way you want him to and fail at doing so.
Maybe by making peace with yourself, you will be better able to make peace with your father.
He may not show his love for you as you want, but I think the fact that he wants to start fresh and try not to butt heads is proof that he has love for you.
Good luck!! I hope you guys can reach a good place with each other!!!
I was a daddy's girl, too, and was understandably very, very sad when he died.
(((((Hugs)))))
Im so glad your dad is okay... I would talk to him when you're both calm about being honest about important things in his life that he should share with you.. he may have been trying to protect you but in my mind he was completely in the wrong..
I've lost both of my parents and it is very painful...we deal with what we have to in life..
I agree with Carla that perhaps this is a good time to find a way to make peace for your own sake... and accept that he may not change..if you're that much a like there may be transference going on and you end up triggering each other.. a therapist can help with this.. xo
we love the parents we have not the ones we would choose.